I know that religion is a subject everyone shies away from, which is rather ironic considering how important so many people make it to their lives, but it’s something I love to discuss.\u00a0\u00a0Mostly because I enjoy shocking others and challenging their beliefs…especially with solid logic.<\/p>\n
But\u00a0first some background.\u00a0 And an apology because this is probably going to end up being a long-ass blog, but bite-me.\u00a0 (no really…oh, yes, bite me!\u00a0\u00a0 Ooops, sorry, that slipped out.)\u00a0<\/p>\n
I was raised Protestant.\u00a0 My mother took us to church every\u00a0Sunday while my father got to sleep in.\u00a0 When we got home he was in the tub with the entire\u00a0Sunday paper strewn around him.\u00a0 I distinctly\u00a0remember envying him his freedom.\u00a0 Not his atheism mind you…but his freedom from having to go to church.<\/p>\n
Sunday school was alright but then\u00a0sitting through the\u00a0adult church service was agony.\u00a0 I tried to be\u00a0the “good Christian” they all talked about and I had my moments of teenage religious fervor (usually after I’d come back from a week of church camp in the summer) but that never lasted longer than 3 or 4 weeks.\u00a0 But really, church was just a place to wear a dress, without hassle, (school would have razzed me big time if I wore a dress!) and socialize with any boys.\u00a0 Oh and I would basically just fantasize a story while the sermon droned on…it was the only way I made it through without going mad from boredom.\u00a0 Hence the early start of my writing mind!<\/p>\n
Now…you need to understand that during my childhood and teen years\u00a0I was a closet sensualist.\u00a0 I went through girlfriends…every year a different one…probably because I was shy and few really understood the way my head worked.\u00a0 And…now don’t faint when I tell you…but I never had any boyfriends and was 17 when I got my first kiss.\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, really!\u00a0 See I had became an angry teen, reading SciFi\/Fantasy books, further narrowing my social circle!\u00a0 Oh I loved, just loved the John Norman Gor novels…and if any of you have read them you know just how sexually daring they were for their time.\u00a0 I was reading those at 13!\u00a0 No one is surprised at that knowing me now…but it was a big secret I kept.<\/p>\n
Through that was the church telling me “when you give yourself over completely to God, he’ll change you…removing all your faults.”\u00a0 Now, now before everyone gets defensive…I realize that probably no one actually said those words.\u00a0 Yet that was the impression I took from the teaching…and I just couldn’t bring myself to completely take that step.\u00a0 I had a secret and more than that…I didn’t want to lose it!<\/p>\n
I’d been enjoying “the pleasure of my fingers” since I was 4 (and how I know that fact is another blog!)\u00a0\u00a0 The point being that somehow I knew (or was told at an early age, who knows) that it was wrong and no one should know.\u00a0 And I really, really didn’t want “God” to take that away from me!\u00a0 So I never managed to make God the number one priority in my life as so many other “good Christians” seemed to.<\/p>\n
Then as an adult I went a little wild (many, many blogs of that coming!) and God went on the back burner.\u00a0 Yet when I was around 25 I realized I was really, really angry at God and I started to delve into why that was.\u00a0 I spent a weekend really questioning that, using my logic.\u00a0<\/p>\n
First, I asked myself, “Did I really believe in God?”\u00a0 Because if I didn’t I needed to let go of my anger at something I didn’t really believe in.\u00a0 And if I did believe in God…hell, why am I angry at him…he’s God!\u00a0 My anger isn’t going to motivate him to do anything to change my life.<\/p>\n
Funny thing…I totally skipped the reason I was angry and went to settling more on eliminating the who.\u00a0 Looking back I was just mad that Mr. Right hadn’t swept into my life and made it complete and felt I had to blame someone.\u00a0 God made a handy target.\u00a0 Gee…do you think people do that a lot!<\/p>\n
So I started looking at my life…past and future and started seeing patterns.\u00a0 Mostly little things, like the random thought that would pop into my head that I didn’t listen to and so regretted later.\u00a0 And then I noticed circumstances that just seemed to come when I needed them.<\/p>\n
And I had to admit that “something” whether I called it God\/Fate or the Collective Unconscious was active in my life.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Once that was settled a lot of the anger at ‘God’ left and I started looking more at my beliefs.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And I knew one thing…I hated\u00a0going to church.\u00a0 And more than that I really, disliked a lot of the hypocrisy I saw in those around me that\u00a0claimed to be religious.\u00a0 They had so little acceptance of other religions and other lifestyle choices.\u00a0\u00a0And it jut didn’t\u00a0mesh well with the “Jesus loves me” stuff they taught me as a child.\u00a0 It was as if they said, “Jesus loves you, but…” and their “butt” was huge!<\/p>\n
No cussing, no dirty talk, be a nice girl,\u00a0NO SEX (that one really got me)\u00a0but it went on…no gays, curb your drinking, no right to choose and everyone who wasn’t a\u00a0Christian…well they were horribly wrong.<\/p>\n
And I thought…wait.\u00a0 If we can love unconditionally or get really close to it, then certainly God has it mastered!\u00a0\u00a0So if God has mastered unconditional love, then why is he putting all these conditions on\u00a0me?\u00a0 Does he say, “I love you but you said, ‘Goddamnit’ when you dropped that hammer on your toe and\u00a0I just can’t tolerate that.”\u00a0\u00a0 Shit, if he was that human…he wouldn’t be GOD, for friggin sake!<\/p>\n
So I took a page from Bette Middler and imagined God seeing us “From a Distance<\/em>” and realized that was much closer to reality right there.\u00a0\u00a0 If God truly loved us unconditionally then he would provide as many routes to him as we needed to get there.\u00a0\u00a0 Because he loves us!\u00a0<\/p>\n And that’s why I’m a Unitarian.\u00a0 And my philosophy is… “Hey, Idiots, we are ALL right so stop fighting about the semantics, I’m sure it just pisses HIM off!”\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n And I can’t help but roll my eyes at the “mission” system, (you know…let’s go to another place where Christianity is outlawed and try to convert people).\u00a0 In this day of the Internet and television…if someone really wanted to know about Jesus, they won’t have any trouble getting the information!\u00a0\u00a0 I have several relatives who do this, (yes really, they do!) and my brother’s (and my sister used to but she left that church) family gives a huge amount of money to his church…which doesn’t own a building…so a lot of\u00a0the money goes to supporting the upper structure and for missionaries.\u00a0\u00a0It just turns my stomach, while our schools beg for money.\u00a0 (Homeless guy begging on the corner…believe it or not he’s a politcal rant, not a religious one.)<\/p>\n Hence my favorite bumper sticker that said, “I get along with God just fine…it’s his fan clubs I can’t stand.”\u00a0\u00a0 Because it’s how I live my life.\u00a0 I think almost all religions are great for the individual who is getting something out of it.\u00a0 But when that religion tells me I’m wrong because my morals are different than theirs, I have a problem.\u00a0 Because hey…didn’t that same God make you and I?\u00a0 If he made me, faults and all, who am I to ‘dis his creation?\u00a0 I can only be true to who I am and minimize any negative impact that may have on those around me.<\/p>\n And if I bring Joy and Laughter and maybe a little Happiness to those around me then how I do it isn’t really the point.\u00a0 If that makes me not\u00a0a “Good Christian” well…then I’m living up to my expectations!\u00a0\u00a0 And I’m loving it!<\/p>\n The best part is seeing all the active hands God has in my life.\u00a0 And people…the patterns are there you just have to look for them.\u00a0 You read about a few in the blog “A Coincidence of Men”, well here are some of the latest ones.\u00a0<\/p>\n I wrote my first two books of erotica and none of my friends were managing to finish reading it and giving me any feedback (yeah…what does that say if you can\u00a0actually PUT\u00a0DOWN my written erotica.\u00a0 Can’t be that good, eh?)\u00a0 So you understand my frustration.\u00a0 Then a couple of months ago I started trying to build\u00a0a world or situation that I could write a series on and I brainstormed my Multiverse over a dinner alone (before I ended up at the bar drinking with about 20 Special Ops guys attending some sort of organizing conference…[bet you’re looking forward to that blog!]).<\/p>\n After that brainstorming event I was heading home on a plane and I met David (everyone say Hi…he claims to read the blog) (I love to fly and meet people…especially men!) anyway…David\u00a0turned out to be a physicist… which my next main character was going to be!\u00a0 And he’d just purchased Season 1 of The Big Bang (which is my all time favorite comedy) and loved it so between us raving about the show I told him about my writing and quizzed him about being a physicist.\u00a0<\/p>\n There was fate…bringing me what I needed.\u00a0 I shot David a copy of my two novels and he read them and gave me some wonderful feedback, just when I was wondering if I was any good at this.\u00a0 Oh..but the coincidences go on.\u00a0 He read the blog about how I went to college in Iowa City and told me he’d had a job there in the 90’s.\u00a0 My son has Asperger’s and his nephew has Asperger’s…although that’s not really a coincidence because if you’re a geek…then you have a\u00a0relative who has Asperger’s!\u00a0 And if you don’t see him…look in the mirror!<\/p>\n And just yesterday…no really these patterns happen to me DAILY!\u00a0\u00a0 I get an e-mail from the husband of a colleague at work who said his wife mentioned I was embarking on a new career writing erotic romance and did I know he was in the publishing industry?\u00a0 He knew of several publishers who specialized in erotica and did I want their names?\u00a0\u00a0 Buhbuhbhubhbubh, YES!\u00a0 Then he offered to read it!\u00a0\u00a0 Oh shit me Yea…a professional opinion.\u00a0 And, I kid you not, just a week ago I was worrying that maybe this wasn’t up to par…after all I only had the unprofessional opinion of my friends and only TWO of them had even finished the first book!<\/p>\n So…me and God = Great… me and Religion = big, long, wet raspberry.\u00a0\u00a0 And I’m thrilled I live in a country where that’s okay.\u00a0 Stick that in the bomb up your ass religious extremist.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I know that religion is a subject everyone shies away from, which is rather ironic considering how important so many people make it to their lives, but it’s something I love to discuss.\u00a0\u00a0Mostly because I enjoy shocking others and challenging … Continue reading