{"id":1490,"date":"2010-08-27T07:51:03","date_gmt":"2010-08-27T14:51:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=1490"},"modified":"2025-11-02T21:51:54","modified_gmt":"2025-11-03T04:51:54","slug":"loving-vs-being-in-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=1490","title":{"rendered":"Loving vs. Being in Love"},"content":{"rendered":"

The weekend of going into.. and coming out sane.. from Girlfriend Mode had many eye opening moments for me.\u00a0 Yet this one just amazed me.
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

You know I’ve been looking at my feelings for a particular favorite man and agonizing over Girlfriend Mode.\u00a0 The other day this song I tend to sing to him came on the radio and it felt oddly different.\u00a0 I was surprised and began to wonder why?\u00a0 Had my feelings changed?\u00a0 I looked at those feelings.\u00a0 The ones I felt when I sung this song to him and compared them to the feelings I’d recently been wrapped up in.\u00a0 I was shocked at the difference.<\/strong><\/p>\n

That song expresses how I feel when I’m with him.\u00a0 It’s about how much I enjoy him and his company.\u00a0 It’s soft feelings of joy, bliss, happiness…\u00a0 without expectations, chains or Nagging Girlfriend Mode. Those were the feelings that I usually associated with him and this song.
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

It felt different because my enjoyment of him had been turned from “loving his company” and enjoying that feeling to “being loved BY him” and therefore obsessing about his feelings.\u00a0 THAT’s why the insecurities pop up and drive me (and him, duh!) insane.\u00a0 Some where along the line, in Girlfriend Mode, I’ve switched from “I love your company” to “Do you like me as much too?\u00a0 Do you think of me as much?” <\/strong><\/p>\n

And those questions, insecure feelings… not only are they incredibly different they smoother the real feelings lying quietly underneath.\u00a0 Because these are two completely different subjects!\u00a0 And, frankly, one needs to be eradicated!\u00a0 lol. <\/strong><\/p>\n

It is THIS <\/em>kind of thinking that will ruin a relationship and drive a partner far, far away!\u00a0 Because I was so much happier just experiencing how much I enjoyed this person before I became a little obsessed with how much he enjoys me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I saw all this and went, “wow.”
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

And poof.. just THAT realization made Girlfriend Mode ease off.\u00a0 I’m a grown up now, not an insecure young girl.\u00a0 In reality it’s more important I love me and enjoy his company than it is to have the emotion be “fairly” distributed on both sides. Who the fuck cares!\u00a0 “Let it go, girl – friend,” I told myself, “Let it go!”\u00a0 And I was able to. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Chock one up for maturity!
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course it helped when I remembered he’s been working 11 hour days and his cell phone doesn’t have a keypad for fast, easy texting.. just a number pad.\u00a0 THAT completely explained the short replies I was getting from my long texts of “how much I lust you today”!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Man’s gotta upgrade!
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The weekend of going into.. and coming out sane.. from Girlfriend Mode had many eye opening moments for me.\u00a0 Yet this one just amazed me. You know I’ve been looking at my feelings for a particular favorite man and agonizing … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1490","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-twirling-my-skirt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1490","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1490"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1490\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2912,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1490\/revisions\/2912"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1490"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1490"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1490"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}