{"id":1550,"date":"2010-08-30T10:42:09","date_gmt":"2010-08-30T17:42:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=1550"},"modified":"2010-08-30T10:42:09","modified_gmt":"2010-08-30T17:42:09","slug":"lewis-black-truisms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=1550","title":{"rendered":"Lewis Black Truisms"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lewis Black is one of my favorite comedians.\u00a0 It’s not just his statements.. its the vehement way he delivers certain lines.\u00a0 Oh.. and his beautiful use of profanity!\u00a0 Here are a few of the gems I heard him do on an old special from the Comedy channel.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Democrats are a party of NO ideas and Republicans are a party of bad ideas.\u00a0 The only thing dummer than a Democrat or a Republican is when these PRICKS work together!\u00a0 The Republican stands up and yells, “I got a really BAD idea!”\u00a0\u00a0 And the Democrat stands up and yells, “And I can make it shitier!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

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No one told us we had to drink water.\u00a0 We got thirsty we went into the house and drank water.\u00a0 But then they started bottling it and selling it to us idiots.\u00a0 Now all of sudden everybody tells me I gotta drink 8 bottles a day!\u00a0 Recently they been studying the effect of water on our system.\u00a0 And we’re probably drinking too much.\u00a0 I know this comes as a shock to you pansies who’ve bought into the whole 8 bottles crap.\u00a0 You’ve been scarfing water down, yelling “Look at me! Look at me!\u00a0 My PEE has no COLOR!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

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What IDIOT came up with the Homeland Security color coding system.\u00a0 There should be three levels:\u00a0 Jesus Christ!\u00a0 GodDammit! and Fuck ME!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course he’s not as funny in type because you don’t get his excessively sarcastic tone!\u00a0\u00a0 So here’s a clip!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Lewis Black<\/a>
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lewis Black is one of my favorite comedians.\u00a0 It’s not just his statements.. its the vehement way he delivers certain lines.\u00a0 Oh.. and his beautiful use of profanity!\u00a0 Here are a few of the gems I heard him do on … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1550","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-just-ramblings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1550","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1550"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1550\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3267,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1550\/revisions\/3267"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1550"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1550"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1550"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}