{"id":163,"date":"2009-06-15T08:38:34","date_gmt":"2009-06-15T15:38:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=163"},"modified":"2025-11-09T10:32:55","modified_gmt":"2025-11-09T17:32:55","slug":"minnesota-08-vacation-story-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=163","title":{"rendered":"Minnesota 08 Vacation Story #1"},"content":{"rendered":"

So I\u2019m in my rental van, the only adult with 5 boys, and we are driving back from swimming in the pool in this Minnesota vacation.\u00a0 In the back bench seat I have Jacob (4) in a car seat, Conor next to him (6), and my cousin Andrew (8), yeah I said cousin.\u00a0 In the two captains chairs behind the front seats sit Evan (8) and Luke (10).<\/strong><\/p>\n

As we drive, there is some occasional conversation.\u00a0 Andrew has decided he is going to tell Jacob and Conor about every nightmare he has ever had because he can remember every nightmare he has ever had.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I am paying only half attention; because basically I\u2019m just the referee.\u00a0 Jacob asks some good questions and Andrew politely answers them, but after too many he flat out tells Jacob, \u201cI just need to finish this story so stop interrupting.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

Jacob lasts about two minutes and then starts acting out some of the nightmares and then moves into pretending he\u2019s talking on the phone saying, \u201cYes\u2026o.k\u2026right\u2026I\u2019m talking to Arden.\u00a0 Arden is my sister,\u201d he tells all.\u00a0 Someone interrupts and the conversation goes something like this.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cLast night Arden ran around naked.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cDid you see her butt and her privates?\u201d\u00a0 lots of giggles.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cShe has no penis.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s \u2018cause she\u2019s a girl.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI once saw a boy naked and he had no penis.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cHe must have had an affliction.\u201d\u00a0 Andrew declares.\u00a0 \u201cMy dad has an affliction.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am SOOOO paying attention NOW!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0Andrew goes on\u2026\u201dWhen his eyes do this, this eye only moves to here.\u201d Rapt silence as he continues, \u201cI have an affliction too.\u201d And he describes something about his toe that is too visual for me to figure out\u2026 after all I\u2019m driving here!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0Jacob throws his arms out straight, fists balled tight and yells, \u201cMy affliction is shooting fire out my arms!\u201d and adds all the appropriate sound effects.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cNo!\u201d says Andrew and several others.\u00a0 \u201cThat is not an affliction.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cAfflictions are different from Powers.\u201d\u00a0 More joint choruses.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cMy affliction is that I don\u2019t have good self control\u201d says Conor.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cNo,\u201d says Andrew.\u00a0 \u201cAn affliction is something of the body and you\u2019re born with it\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cThen I don\u2019t know what my affliction is!\u201d Conor says, now getting upset.\u00a0 Jacob is still shooting passing cars with his fire-arms.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cNot everyone has an affliction.\u201d\u00a0 Many voices reassure him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cYou mean I don\u2019t have to have an affliction!\u201d yells Conor, visibly relieved.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0I am valiantly trying not to drive into a ditch because I am laughing so hard.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0Boys Rock!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So I\u2019m in my rental van, the only adult with 5 boys, and we are driving back from swimming in the pool in this Minnesota vacation.\u00a0 In the back bench seat I have Jacob (4) in a car seat, Conor … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-163","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-joy-of-family"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/163","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=163"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/163\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4398,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/163\/revisions\/4398"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=163"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=163"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=163"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}