{"id":1662,"date":"2010-10-08T09:00:45","date_gmt":"2010-10-08T16:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=1662"},"modified":"2025-11-02T21:47:25","modified_gmt":"2025-11-03T04:47:25","slug":"a-little-extra-effort","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=1662","title":{"rendered":"A little extra “effort”"},"content":{"rendered":"

So I was chatting with a young cub the other night.\u00a0 A man who wanted to enjoy another evening with me.\u00a0 I was explaining my reluctance and he was explaining his reasoning.\u00a0 We eventually agreed to disagree on the subject and drop it, but he brought up an interesting point for me to ponder.<\/strong><\/p>\n

He was adamant (and a little accusatory) that I wasn’t interested in putting in the “effort” to arouse him.\u00a0 That if a woman BJ’s him for 30 minutes he’ll get hard, faster if she does it just the right way.\u00a0 He was certain I wasn’t willing to put in the effort to find out his right way.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And he was correct!\u00a0 I wasn’t willing to do it.\u00a0 Most every man I’d enjoyed carnally before and after I was married didn’t need a lot of effort to get erect.\u00a0 Some of them arrived that way, just in anticipation of us getting together.\u00a0 But very few needed much encouragement once we got naked.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The few that did, well… they were men my age or\u00a0 older and that sometimes happens with men that age.\u00a0 Its usually physical, although sometimes mental, but in any case it’s something most men feel is their responsibility to solve.\u00a0 Not me.
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

So I was frankly baffled that he didn’t understand my reluctance to spend 30 minutes trying to find the “sweet spot” or “perfect rhythm” that would get him hard and ready.\u00a0 I enjoy oral sex, we all know I do just\u00a0 from previous posts!\u00a0 But I do it half for his enjoyment and half for mine.\u00a0 If the object of my oral affection is non-responsive, sometimes the enjoyment is leached away and it becomes work.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And why would I choose to be with a man who I have to literally work to get hard?\u00a0 When I can choose to be with a man who’s hard at the very sight of me?\u00a0 This cub just couldn’t understand THAT part of the argument!\u00a0 That I shouldn’t HAVE to put extra effort just to get a man erect. <\/strong><\/p>\n

There are two types of women willing to “work” to get\u00a0 you hard and off.\u00a0 A professional because its\u00a0 her job & she wants to get paid and a woman who loves you and will do whatever to please you.\u00a0 I told him I’m not a girlfriend, willing to go that extra 30 minutes out of love.\u00a0 And mentally I asked myself just what I’d charge him if I were a professional!
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yet I pondered the girlfriend statement the next day.\u00a0 If I was in love with a boyfriend who took effort to get erect, (thankfully none of my FWB’s have this issue!)\u00a0 would I put that effort in?\u00a0 Work hard to get him aroused and take whatever minutes of satisfaction he can dole out to me?
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Naw… I’d just get him a prescription!
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n


\n<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So I was chatting with a young cub the other night.\u00a0 A man who wanted to enjoy another evening with me.\u00a0 I was explaining my reluctance and he was explaining his reasoning.\u00a0 We eventually agreed to disagree on the subject … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-naughty-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1662","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1662"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1662\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1668,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1662\/revisions\/1668"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}