{"id":2056,"date":"2011-04-01T08:48:14","date_gmt":"2011-04-01T15:48:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=2056"},"modified":"2025-11-02T21:08:17","modified_gmt":"2025-11-03T04:08:17","slug":"dominantsubmissive-play","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=2056","title":{"rendered":"Dominant\/Submissive Play"},"content":{"rendered":"

I can’t believe I’ve not written about this yet! <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

A year ago I mentioned my interest in this sort of sexual play and over that time I’ve had several fun times trying it.\u00a0 And I’m surprised I hadn’t blogged those, but I’m going to rectify that now.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

My first experience was with a man who I trusted and who had quite a bit of experience in Dom\/Sub play.\u00a0 It was a wonderful evening of sex but through it all I never seemed to get mentally into it.\u00a0 I thought maybe it was because he went too gentle, it being my first time.\u00a0 He wanted to make sure I was comfortable.\u00a0 So he cooked me dinner, cleaned up, then we got intimate but without the roll playing.\u00a0\u00a0 When he finally moved it to that arena I was too comfortable.\u00a0 To me, it felt more like I was wearing interesting clothing than straps tied to hooks in the doorway!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The second man was more interesting, since by then I kind of realized I needed a Dom who would from the start be mentally dominant, get me completely into the roll playing.\u00a0 I told him that and he knew exactly what I was talking about.\u00a0 On our first encounter he outlined\u00a0 what I was to wear and what to expect in the first few minutes.\u00a0 And kept me submissive with his words and instructions. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

That session made me realize that a true Sub wants the challenge of ultimately pleasing the Dom.\u00a0 They want to DO whatever the Dom wants to prove how good they are at pleasing.\u00a0 The best example of this is the movie The Secretary<\/em> with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal.\u00a0 There isn’t that much bondage in it but it really shows the Dom\/Sub psychological relationship.\u00a0 She specifically disobeys to get more of his attention whenever she feels neglected.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

My second man took complete mental charge.\u00a0 He directed all my moves, firmly told me what he wanted and I quickly complied.\u00a0 I learned more from that one night of being a submissive than many nights of sex with other men, both about myself and about sex.\u00a0 I learned how to lick balls like never before cuz he had me do it for 30 minutes straight.\u00a0 (A skill Sex God truly appreciates! lol)\u00a0 I\u00a0 also learned lots about toys since he used many on me.\u00a0\u00a0 All of which I’d not experienced before.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

And I got to be completely mentally submissive.\u00a0 It was wonderful.\u00a0 And he’d still be a treasured FWB if not for a few foibles.\u00a0 He made a fantastic Dom but didn’t have the follow up equipment to have intercourse.\u00a0\u00a0 It was a drawback I couldn’t overlook by the third time.\u00a0 (plus by then he couldn’t afford another hotel room so we went to his house.. which turned out to be a trailer in a trailer park.\u00a0 Um, yea… deal breaker.)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The few others who’ve tried to Dom me haven’t managed it mentally.\u00a0 I did learn that ropes get closer to getting me there mentally than straps.\u00a0 One man was quite surprised after he’d used straps to link my ankles to my wrists with me on my stomach.\u00a0 When he was done wringing orgasm after orgasm out of me, I twisted my little wrists, reached the hooking mechanism and released myself!\u00a0 His jaw dropped.\u00a0 I don’t know why he was surprised, I’d told him ropes!\u00a0 Sheeesh!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Now.\u00a0 On the flip side.\u00a0 I haven’t completely played Dom myself, yet.\u00a0 I’ve done little bits of it here and there.\u00a0 I’ve sex chatted scenarios with men where I Dom them.\u00a0 Planned it out, even written one in a story form.\u00a0 I always knew I wanted to play with a dominant male but never thought I’d have it in me to be a Dominatrix. (Oh stop laughing.. those of you who know me!\u00a0 Just because I’m a dominant female naturally doesn’t mean I can pull it off in the bedroom.)
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

But as I explore the world of Dom\/Sub sex play, I realize I could both do it and enjoy it.\u00a0 I find I truly thrill when torturing Sex God who is an unbelievably responsive, natural Sub, because he takes what I do to him with grunt and a groan.\u00a0 Frustrates me that he won’t let me tie him up.\u00a0 (Yet!)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

But Sub\/Dom sexual play is very much about role playing.\u00a0 You both have to mentally get into it for it to satisfy any craving you may have for it.\u00a0 And ever since I learned how to put my character Cat around me like a cloak and actively seduce a man, I feel I can pull off almost any roll playing scenario.
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

All it takes is planning, opportunity and the right willing victim.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can’t believe I’ve not written about this yet! A year ago I mentioned my interest in this sort of sexual play and over that time I’ve had several fun times trying it.\u00a0 And I’m surprised I hadn’t blogged those, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2056","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-naughty-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2056","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2056"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2056\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3195,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2056\/revisions\/3195"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2056"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2056"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2056"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}