{"id":2262,"date":"2011-06-13T10:59:34","date_gmt":"2011-06-13T17:59:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=2262"},"modified":"2025-11-02T20:29:14","modified_gmt":"2025-11-03T03:29:14","slug":"when-youre-tired-you-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=2262","title":{"rendered":"When you’re tired… you want."},"content":{"rendered":"

One of the things that is a bummer about being single is the feeling of handling all the adversity life throws at you alone.\u00a0 Its not being<\/em> alone that makes a person feel lonely (cuz honestly I adore my alone time)… its the sense of standing in the storm by yourself.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

This is what makes your brain long… long for a partner to share this life with.\u00a0 Because you want a break.\u00a0 You want to feel not so alone when the shit hits the fan.\u00a0 For a woman, often you secretly want to just be held and told not to worry, he’ll handle it. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

A lot of shit has hit my fan recently and I’ve gone to that point.\u00a0 I’ve had that desire to have ONE man on my side, there for me.\u00a0 When I need support,\u00a0 help, a strong shoulder to somehow fix the shit or make it better.\u00a0 And here is where my pessimist laughs and say, “A husband?\u00a0 Didn’t you just get rid of one?”<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

But my husband was never a good partner for me.\u00a0 He preferred to let me be in charge and when I wanted his input he just waived it away and told me to decide he was fine with whatever I chose.\u00a0 Starting out, that was alright but after 13 years the unbalanced aspect of it was too much and too late to change.\u00a0 He was never someone who just took it over when the shit hit the fan.\u00a0 He looked to me to fix it.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

But in analyzing my feelings… I looked at this desire to give up “being in charge” to a male.\u00a0 Really scrutinized it.\u00a0 And I realize that having a man who comes in and takes charge of things so I don’t have to would ALSO have become equally unbearable over time as one who never did.\u00a0 I would\u00a0 have been smothered, my opinions meaning less and less over time. Both ways I would have lost myself.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Yuck.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

And the solution? <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, first I need to assess, address and act. \u00a0 lol.\u00a0 So I assessed my feelings. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Its been a shit-long, weary month.\u00a0 The new custody is more draining to me that I thought it would be.\u00a0 I really only have 2 days to myself now that the kids dislike being with their father. \u00a0 And before I would have a whole 7 days. \u00a0 7 days of pure me time. \u00a0 It was such a wonderful vacation.\u00a0 And I saved so much on food\/water\/electricity!\u00a0 Sigh. All that is now gone.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Plus my cycle came early.\u00a0 Which was a blessing so I’ll be mostly done by the weekend… but it meant that PMS caught me by surprise.\u00a0 THAT is never fun.\u00a0 Poor kids got “At the end of her rope” Mommy.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Top it all off… my new “great deal” Craigslist couch is splitting at the seems.\u00a0 It was in use all of 3 weeks and its ruined.\u00a0 The material seems to be so cheap its pulling out of the stitching.\u00a0 Probably not even fixable.\u00a0\u00a0 Double Sigh…\u00a0 I just get sick now every time I look at it.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

So.. I’ve “Assessed” that I’m emotionally tired. \u00a0 I see no recourse to try and “Address” my many problems with solutions. \u00a0 I am left only to “Act” like I’m okay and go on with life. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Did I mention the kids get out of school for the summer next week. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Sigh.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of the things that is a bummer about being single is the feeling of handling all the adversity life throws at you alone.\u00a0 Its not being alone that makes a person feel lonely (cuz honestly I adore my alone … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2262","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-twirling-my-skirt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2262","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2262"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2262\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4527,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2262\/revisions\/4527"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}