{"id":2296,"date":"2011-06-22T12:49:44","date_gmt":"2011-06-22T19:49:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=2296"},"modified":"2025-11-02T20:28:03","modified_gmt":"2025-11-03T03:28:03","slug":"mom-wait-youre-not-mom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=2296","title":{"rendered":"“Mom… wait, you’re not Mom.”"},"content":{"rendered":"

So my lovely Sex God came over on a week night because it was the only way we’d get to see each other, our schedules clashing for the past few weekends.\u00a0 This is no big deal and we’ve done this many times in the past.\u00a0\u00a0 The kids know him as my Boyfriend and with the Ex LIVING with his girlfriend, I don’t have any qualms about having my Sex God sleeping over.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Last time, though, was hilarious.\u00a0 The kids were all in bed and Sex God and I were watching t.v. and waiting for the little buggers to fall asleep so I can ride him like the wind!\u00a0 Cuz I’m a loud cowgirl. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Anyway.. so I’m thinking they’re off to dream land and make a trip to the bathroom.\u00a0\u00a0 As I leave I tell Sex God to get comfortable.\u00a0 *wink wink*\u00a0\u00a0 Which he’s been dying to do since he arrived because, as a true surfer, he HATES clothing.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Now, I’m thinking he’ll strip down to his underwear. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

As I’m finishing up in the bathroom I hear little footsteps and before I can call out to whoever is in bed that Mommy is over here (!) I hear this.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

“Mom?…\u00a0\u00a0 whoops.. you’re not Mom.\u00a0 Wow, I didn’t need to see THAT!”<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I make it out in time to see the youngest walking back to his room. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

“Did you need something?” I ask him.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

He’s covering his eyes and mumbling, “Not looking, not looking, not looking.” And heads back to his room.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Grinning I walk into my bedroom and see a shell shocked Sex God with a pillow covering his naked body.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So my lovely Sex God came over on a week night because it was the only way we’d get to see each other, our schedules clashing for the past few weekends.\u00a0 This is no big deal and we’ve done this … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2296","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-joy-of-family"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2296","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2296"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2296\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3180,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2296\/revisions\/3180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2296"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2296"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2296"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}