{"id":252,"date":"2009-07-15T08:31:10","date_gmt":"2009-07-15T15:31:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=252"},"modified":"2025-11-08T09:27:53","modified_gmt":"2025-11-08T16:27:53","slug":"the-fives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=252","title":{"rendered":"The Five’s"},"content":{"rendered":"

I think this was just to be in five\u2019s but I added stuff\u2026since I\u2019m so old!<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5 PLACES I\u2019VE LIVED\u2026<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Burbank, CA\u2026\u00a0 Iowa City, IA\u2026\u00a0\u00a0 San Antonio, TX\u2026\u00a0\u00a0 Fayetteville, NC\u2026\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 40 miles into the desert from Bartow, CA<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5 BAD HABITS\u2026<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I snack when I read.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I monopolize conversations (why I love the blog!). \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>I assume everyone finds me as interesting as I find me (I\u2019m not a narcis\u2026ooo, mirror!)\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>If there are donuts, ice cream, candy and any form of milk chocolate\u2026I WILL EAT IT!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I trust everyone\u2026\u00a0 although sometimes I\u2019m just not buying what they\u2019re selling \u2018cause I don\u2019t need it at the time.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5 THINGS FOLKS DON\u2019T KNOW ABOUT ME\u2026<\/strong> \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>Ooo a daring question, offering me the opportunity to shock others!\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I have a third nipple.\u00a0 <\/span>(I will NOT \u2018get out\u2019, it\u2019s true!)\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I love oral sex, but that\u2019s a duh!\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I still have my collection of Bryer\u2019s plastic horses from my childhood (probably worth money these days\u2026I broke off many a Barbie leg making her ride them!\u00a0 B<\/span>itch deserved it.)\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>I do NOT think porn is bad.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I think drugs (at least weed) and prostitution should be legal, although I currently do neither!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5 THINGS ON MY \u2018TO DO\u2019 LIST FOR TOMORROW\u2026<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Umm, finalize the contracts on licensing\u2026. Data entry all the personal finances for the month\u2026. Filing, oh Lordy the filing\u2026\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>cut lots more words out of my novel\u2026.\u00a0 <\/span>And lastly, GO SHOPPING.\u00a0 <\/span>Maaaacy\u2019s is haaaaving a saaale!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5 THINGS I HAVE ON MY ‘SOME DAY’ LIST…<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Learn to fly a plane…. Take singing lessons….. Learn to play the drums…. Get a Motorcycle License…\u00a0 Be a Published Author.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 WHERE I WAS 5 YEARS AGO\u2026<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I was spatially in the same place but physically I was 20 lbs heavier.\u00a0 And on my frame, that is\u00a0A LOT.\u00a0 <\/span>And mentally I was all about motherhood, Scrapbooking, parenting and working my part time job.\u00a0 <\/span>5 years ago the boys were 6, 4 and 2…so duh!\u00a0\u00a0I was still 1 year away from diaperlessland and several years from remembering what it felt like to be \u201cwell rested\u201d with several nights of uninterrupted sleep.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 WHERE I WAS 10 YEARS AGO\u2026<\/strong>\u00a0 <\/span>I was a new wife and a new mother of an 18 month old.\u00a0 <\/span>I called my mom daily for parenting help and I was trying to sell Tupperware.\u00a0 And\u2026 oh yeah, and I was pregnant with my second by then also.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>I remember begging my son to watch Sesame Street so Mommy could nap.\u00a0 <\/span>PLEASE!!!\u00a0 <\/span>And my husband was deployed sometimes for months.\u00a0 <\/span>Yeah\u2026\u00a0 good times.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 WHERE I WAS 15 YEARS AGO\u2026<\/strong>\u00a0 <\/span>I was on the quest for the elusive husband.\u00a0 <\/span>I was hovering around\u00a030 and I\u2019d given God 1 year to bring the mythical Mr. Right anywhere in my sights or I was writing off the whole process and going to the sperm bank.\u00a0 <\/span>But I was pro-active.\u00a0 <\/span>I joined a dating service and worked it!\u00a0 <\/span>Hershel\u2019s gotta buy a ticket!\u00a0 <\/span>(feel free to comment if you don\u2019t know that joke and I\u2019ll tell it to ya.)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 WHERE I WAS 20 YEARS AGO\u2026<\/strong>\u00a0 <\/span>Lordy I was a\u00a0true slut<\/span> \u00a0<\/span>\u201chealth nut\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>but just starting to get a little sick of the bar scene.\u00a0 <\/span>I think that may have been when I tried my second dating service and met a guy I dated for several months at the first party.\u00a0 <\/span>He lasted until I went to Club Med with my sister and mother, now that\u2019s a story!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think this was just to be in five\u2019s but I added stuff\u2026since I\u2019m so old! \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5 PLACES I\u2019VE LIVED\u2026\u00a0\u00a0 Burbank, CA\u2026\u00a0 Iowa City, IA\u2026\u00a0\u00a0 San Antonio, TX\u2026\u00a0\u00a0 Fayetteville, NC\u2026\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 40 miles into the desert from Bartow, CA … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-just-ramblings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=252"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5168,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252\/revisions\/5168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}