Family gathering is never without SOME drama! lol\u00a0 Without my oldest melting down into an Anxiety mess or my youngest stomping off announcing he’s going to kill us all.\u00a0 But we had ALL the family together for this one.<\/p>\n
My sister & her family drove up from San Diego & were staying at my mothers.\u00a0 So I go over on Thanksgiving day, with my boys, at 10 am to help out and socialize.\u00a0 Before I even get to leave I get a call that my brother-in-law wants to take the boys to a movie with his kids.\u00a0 Its an animated one so only my two younger ones want to go.\u00a0 I’m fine with it so we hurry over.<\/p>\n
As we arrive, I’m surprised as I watch my sister hop in the car with them.\u00a0\u00a0 Off they go to see Arthur Christmas, leaving me, my oldest son Luke and my mother to finish any cooking or setting up.\u00a0\u00a0 With little socializing at all to be had.\u00a0 I talk to my Mom daily!\u00a0 Almost 3 hours later my sister comes back with the kids & without her husband.\u00a0 I find out that apparently my sister didn’t go to the movie, she went shopping with my sister-in-law.\u00a0 And once the movie was done, she left her husband at my brothers to watch some football.\u00a0 They’re taking turns with their kids.<\/p>\n
Granted their kids are only 5 & 7 and at that age they’re still a handful.\u00a0 Especially when you won’t let them watch much t.v.\u00a0 And they’re one boy & one girl so they don’t really play the same way nor want to play much with each other.\u00a0\u00a0 And I completely get the exhaustion & desire of a vacation from kids.<\/p>\n
But what I don’t get is why my mother and I are such bad company.\u00a0\u00a0 Why did I drag my kids over so early to help & see my sister if she was just going to bail & see my sister-in-law who she sees all the time.\u00a0 Who she hung out with at my mothers the night before.<\/p>\n
When my sister got back, she sat & talked with us a little bit & then convinced the kids to go on a scavenger walk looking for leaves, etc.\u00a0 This time my middle one stayed back.\u00a0 My mother leafed through magazines while T-Day texts blew up my phone (irritates my Mom but pleases me to no end!\u00a0 I love it, though)\u00a0 Once back from the nature hike my sister saw my mother & I working in the kitchen.\u00a0 The turkey was almost out of the oven & we were working on the last things needed cooking.\u00a0\u00a0 And she asked if we wouldn’t mind if she went out for a little jog.\u00a0 I think it was our surprised looks that prompted her excuses of “I need it.\u00a0 It’ll be a short run.\u00a0 You’ve got everything in hand.\u00a0 The kids will be fine.”<\/p>\n
My sister is a stick.\u00a0 No fat anywhere on her body.\u00a0 Barely eats, tans in the bed.\u00a0 Needless to say she looks way closer to 50 than I do & she’s 5 years younger than I!\u00a0 And she’s much more narcissistic.\u00a0 Designer clothes, expensive trips & has always needed help with her kids.\u00a0 (Granted her oldest got her genetic hyperactivity & her husband was a Navy Doc, then a new practice Doc, then a University Doc & now back to a Navy Doc… so not as “lump in the room” there as other husbands, but also so super busy my sister has to do the majority of the parenting.)<\/p>\n
But much of her time is about her.\u00a0 Even the social time with the family.\u00a0 Most of us are used to it, but today…\u00a0 Thanksgiving… I’m sitting here wondering where did MY day go.\u00a0 At what point did my mother and I get to do what WE wanted?\u00a0 Would I have enjoyed shopping?\u00a0 Yes, actually I would have.\u00a0 But I wouldn’t have done it and left my Mom alone on Thanksgiving.<\/p>\n
Its not the meal.\u00a0 That’s not why I love Thanksgiving.\u00a0 Its spending it with others… with adults.\u00a0 That is what is fun and enjoyable about Thanksgiving.\u00a0 Its why my Mother loves it also.\u00a0\u00a0 Instead its become:\u00a0 show up for dinner, socialize during it, help with clean up, have desert and bail.\u00a0 Why am I helping to cook all day a big dinner for this?<\/p>\n
Worse, the only time I enjoyed myself (beyond the texting all day) was the brief moment my sister-in-law asked if I was still dating “that guy you brought over last summer” i.e. Sex God.\u00a0\u00a0 I said, I’d date him forever and she looked at me strangely.\u00a0 Because she’s happily married.\u00a0 I gave her the usual… neither of us will ever marry & we’re good with that.<\/p>\n
As we were getting ready to leave I realized something.\u00a0 I realized that the only time I enjoyed myself was when the conversation was about me.\u00a0 Or when I had something to contribute to it.\u00a0\u00a0 And I have less and less in common with my relatives.\u00a0 I might have a little on common musically with my 17 year old nephew but my influence would probably corrupt the poor child.\u00a0 I don’t read the same books as them.\u00a0 I don’t ski or water ski or camp.\u00a0 I’m not a Republican.\u00a0 I’m not in their tax bracket.\u00a0 And I definitely don’t go to THEIR church… worse.. I don’t go to any church.<\/p>\n
Sometimes when I’m with them… I’m only half me.\u00a0 I’m mostly just a Mom.\u00a0 Maybe a minute of discussion of how work is going or if I am writing anything.\u00a0 All\u00a0 just parts of me & not what I’m exceptionally passionate about.\u00a0 The things that seem exciting to me, I cannot discuss any of this with my family.<\/p>\n
Although in turnabout I often don’t discuss my kids or my family much with that other part of my life.\u00a0 Except with Sex God.\u00a0 As my “boyfriend” he gets the whole package… all of me.\u00a0 He’s seen and still likes “Mom” me and even met my entire family.\u00a0 If his Ex & kids didn’t need him for the holidays I’d beg his company with me.<\/p>\n
Just so I could genuinely smile at someone during the evening.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Family gathering is never without SOME drama! lol\u00a0 Without my oldest melting down into an Anxiety mess or my youngest stomping off announcing he’s going to kill us all.\u00a0 But we had ALL the family together for this one. My … Continue reading