My mom and I have been best friends since I was about 16.\u00a0<\/p>\n
The funny thing is we are not that much alike.\u00a0 I mean, I do have a lot of her wonderful qualities but if I was going to pick a parent I was most like, it would have to be my father.\u00a0\u00a0(They’re divorced…that story for later.)<\/p>\n
I love my dad.\u00a0 Faults, quirkiness and ability to innocently cut with words and all, I accept him for who he is and still love him.\u00a0\u00a0 When I told him that he said, “Well you’re a better man than I am.”\u00a0<\/p>\n
So back to the point.\u00a0 I theorize the reason we get along is that I’m half her and half my dad and for some reason that mix compliments her.\u00a0 I mean, my parents stayed married for 20+ years so they had to have been compatible on some level.\u00a0 And I think my dad-half is the compatible part.\u00a0 Ironically…the man I married is soooooo the other half of my dad and my mom that it’s spooky.<\/p>\n
The best part of getting along so well is how comfortable around each other we are.\u00a0 I’ll be frank with her and tell it like it is and give her gentle shoves (I said gentle!) when she’s balking about something.\u00a0<\/p>\n
For those of you who know her (and I’ll sing her praises more in length later) she’s an incredible person with a wonderful story I hope to at least capture here in blogs if not actually on paper.\u00a0\u00a0 But a Heather blog is going to be irreverent, controversial, deep, funny or at least a little bit shocking.\u00a0 And to that end I’ll scoop.\u00a0 Heh heh heh.<\/p>\n
My mother’s disgestive tract sucks.\u00a0 She is perfect in so many ways but her body just brings new meaning to the phrase anal-retentive.\u00a0 Spiritualists would say it is her inner soul clinging to the unnecessary.\u00a0 Her doctors say it’s just her.\u00a0 But the most ironic thing is EVERY…TIME…I get her on the phone within a minute she’s saying, “Can I call you back I have to go to the bathroom.”<\/p>\n
She swears it’s my voice…apparently something in\u00a0my dulcet tones just makes her have to pee.\u00a0 But it’s become a running joke between us.\u00a0 I can\u00a0 just envision her when she’s eighty calling me on the phone and saying, “Heather, talk to me.\u00a0 I haven’t sat on the can all day.”<\/p>\n
Yup, that’s me…the walking diuretic.\u00a0 Makes me afraid to do stand up.\u00a0 What if I have this effect on the audience!\u00a0 How will clubs hire me if as soon as I start my routine hundreds<\/span> people leave the room!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My mom and I have been best friends since I was about 16.\u00a0 The funny thing is we are not that much alike.\u00a0 I mean, I do have a lot of her wonderful qualities but if I was going to … Continue reading