{"id":576,"date":"2009-08-27T18:51:11","date_gmt":"2009-08-28T01:51:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=576"},"modified":"2025-11-07T10:27:17","modified_gmt":"2025-11-07T17:27:17","slug":"its-the-sex-theyre-not-getting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=576","title":{"rendered":"Its the sex they’re NOT getting"},"content":{"rendered":"

Monogamy is a weird institution.\u00a0 Almost as strange as Marriage to me.\u00a0\u00a0 Why and how did it develop?\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

My friend Kim claims this, “Marriage is the male trying to OWN a womb.”\u00a0 Of course she’s in the middle of mediating a divorce with her Pisces husband of\u00a022 years and 5 kids.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Culturally its been mostly about women needing someone to bring in some meat while she’s stuck with the little ones…. because she’s breastfeeding them and its hard to\u00a0kill a mammoth when your carrying an infant you have to stop and feed every two hours.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

So we needed their help during the baby years and they got sex out of it and a variety in their diet.\u00a0\u00a0 Then farming came along.\u00a0 And two men can do the same amount of farm work as probably 4 women.\u00a0 So we weren’t really “helping” them as effectively as another man could.\u00a0 Ah… but in comes the dowry, which was usually land or money.\u00a0 And bam… we’re worth the investment.\u00a0 And he’s doing the majority of the hard labor while we’re doing “hard labor” of birthing and raising the kids, plus baking, canning and other stuff.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

And when the kids are grown… why don’t they leave?\u00a0\u00a0 Even when the women start to resist having sex… why don’t they leave?\u00a0\u00a0 Or when one or both parties are unhappy… why don’t they both just call it quits or at least go out and get happy with someone else?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Twice when I’ve brought up the interesting concept of Open Marriage the male response was, “It’s not that I’d be jealous, but I don’t want to miss the sex I’m not having.”<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Baffling!\u00a0\u00a0 Neither are assuming they’d also be getting other sex.\u00a0 They were just concerned they’d be missing the current sex.\u00a0 They’d be willing to pass on other sex in case they\u00a0MIGHT (although might not) \u00a0get the sex at home.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

So I’ve been studying this new strange phenomenon in confusion.\u00a0 Yes, I know there are plenty of males who don’t think this way… but I’m realizing this is the monogamous sub-species.\u00a0\u00a0 This is probably the species that stayed with the female and bred consistently… passing on this trait.\u00a0 And this sub-species was probably favored by the females.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

And I bet this worked out great.\u00a0 Because for a male to be successful enough to get a “wife” he was usually 10 to 15 years older than her.\u00a0 Assuming she survives all the children, he’s usually dead of a heart attack by the time she hits her sexual peak.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

And that’s when the non-monogamous species comes in.\u00a0\u00a0 That free male who’s determined never to “marry” who doesn’t settle down with one female.\u00a0 HE’s something she can now play with.\u00a0 Or she can play with the young males of the other sub-species knowing what while they’re waiting until they’re successful enough they still have physical needs she can toy with.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes, Cougar’s have been around FOREVER people.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 They just purr not roar.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Monogamy is a weird institution.\u00a0 Almost as strange as Marriage to me.\u00a0\u00a0 Why and how did it develop?\u00a0 My friend Kim claims this, “Marriage is the male trying to OWN a womb.”\u00a0 Of course she’s in the middle of mediating … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-576","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-just-ramblings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=576"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":591,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576\/revisions\/591"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=576"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=576"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=576"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}