{"id":698,"date":"2009-11-02T10:41:20","date_gmt":"2009-11-02T17:41:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=698"},"modified":"2025-11-06T09:33:53","modified_gmt":"2025-11-06T16:33:53","slug":"maintenence-required","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=698","title":{"rendered":"Maintenence Required"},"content":{"rendered":"

My lovely new car has a little light that pops up and says “Maint. Req.”\u00a0 I know this because it lit up and I took it to the shop.\u00a0 And I was thinking… wouldn’t it be nice if more things in our life had little electronic lights that did that.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Like you could keep a little spiritual figurine in your home, touch it occasionally and when it read that you needed to reconnect with God it would light up and off to church you would go.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I like best a little Maintenance Required light on our bodies somewhere.\u00a0\u00a0 Not the forehead as that is just too New Testament Apocalypse… but maybe the arm somewhere.\u00a0 It could monitor your blood fluids and let you know if you’re sick by lighting up.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh and maybe it could be different colors for different needs.\u00a0 Blue for “you’re depressed”\u00a0\u00a0 Yellow for “you’re over-stressed”\u00a0\u00a0 Red for “you need to get laid”\u00a0\u00a0 Wouldn’t that last one be perfect!\u00a0\u00a0You see the little Maint. Req. sign on your partner light up red and then you’d know when your significant other might need a little extra something, something.\u00a0 Or you could tell just how desperate that woman you’re trying to pick up might be.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I know my sign is blinking!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My lovely new car has a little light that pops up and says “Maint. Req.”\u00a0 I know this because it lit up and I took it to the shop.\u00a0 And I was thinking… wouldn’t it be nice if more things … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-naughty-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/698","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=698"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/698\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":761,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/698\/revisions\/761"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=698"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=698"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=698"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}