{"id":901,"date":"2010-02-03T23:26:45","date_gmt":"2010-02-04T06:26:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=901"},"modified":"2025-11-05T10:03:46","modified_gmt":"2025-11-05T17:03:46","slug":"stephanies-baby-shower","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=901","title":{"rendered":"Stephanie’s Baby Shower"},"content":{"rendered":"

My cousin ( such an endless source of stories she is) finally got pregnant after trying forever.\u00a0\u00a0 So I got an invitation to her Baby Shower.\u00a0\u00a0 My mother and I went together, dressed up nicely and finally found the building where it was being held.\u00a0 NOT a home…oh, no.. it’s a dance studio or meditation facility.. I don’t know.\u00a0 I swear I never know with this side of my family!
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First thing we do is sign it, place gifts in a corner, then we must hear the rules.\u00a0 No talking once inside the meditation area.. please wash your hands in this bowl of sacred water and remove your shoes.\u00a0 Bad sign right off when I have to “be quiet” in a room full of people for an extended time… especially a roomful of relatives I haven’t seen in months surrounded by silence to entertain myself with!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

My mother and I find a cushion to plant our butts (so no comfortable Micro Nap possible) and notice my very pregnant cousin seated in a corner under a wide canopy of mosquito netting.\u00a0\u00a0 Waiving at a few relatives we know in a room full of my cousin’s friends and co-workers, who we don’t know, we all wait.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Finally someone comes out and begins telling us the “rituals” they are planning.\u00a0 I barely listen.\u00a0 I’ve been down this road soooo many times with my relatives.. I’m used to waiting\u00a0 it out.\u00a0 If it works for them, great.\u00a0 But I just don’t have the time to summon the four elements from the four corners of the earth.\u00a0 (pssst…. earth is round.. no corners!)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway.. each element does her little interpretive dance.. including water tossing a bit of water on all of us.\u00a0 Goody.\u00a0 Can’t wait until earth’s turn!\u00a0 Thankfully fire was symbolic!\u00a0\u00a0 I need to say it again so you get the full affect.\u00a0\u00a0 THIS really happened!\u00a0 LOL.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Then we’re told to form a double row to mimic the birth canal.\u00a0 We’re going to encourage the baby that we want to welcome it into the world by gently pushing and moving Stephanie along our pretend birth canal.\u00a0 This will psychically tell the baby that birth, especially this birth, is a wonderful experience.\u00a0\u00a0 My mother and I move to the end of the line.\u00a0 And I try really hard not to laugh as I watch my cousin’s friends begin the process. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

It’s almost a male lesbian fantasy I’m witnessing!\u00a0 Women on all sides of my cousin, hands all over her body, massaging and caressing as they gently “move” her down the “imitation birth canal.”\u00a0\u00a0 I couldn’t keep the grin off my face!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

After that the shower went along the more traditional lines.\u00a0 We each presented Stephanie with a verbal gift of a story or advice to help her as she begins her “motherhood” journey.\u00a0 Lucky for my I’d written MANY platitudes for my sister and was well equipped with an anecdote on parenting. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

After delivering my funny short advice, Stephanie leans over to me and says, “I had to do something to top the “Wedding Story”\u00a0\u00a0 I busted out laughing. \u00a0 She certainly managed it!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My cousin ( such an endless source of stories she is) finally got pregnant after trying forever.\u00a0\u00a0 So I got an invitation to her Baby Shower.\u00a0\u00a0 My mother and I went together, dressed up nicely and finally found the building … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-901","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-joy-of-family"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/901","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=901"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/901\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":995,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/901\/revisions\/995"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=901"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=901"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=901"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}