{"id":1113,"date":"2010-04-02T09:27:39","date_gmt":"2010-04-02T16:27:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=1113"},"modified":"2025-11-04T10:57:40","modified_gmt":"2025-11-04T17:57:40","slug":"be-a-stalker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=1113","title":{"rendered":"Be a Stalker"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve had a few men apologize for “being obsessed” with me.\u00a0\u00a0 I know my girlfriends are laughing at that one.\u00a0 Because they know I adore attention!\u00a0 But when more than one male does a particular habit I start looking at the motives behind it. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

So I thought about it and surmised calling yourself a Stalker may mean one of several things.\u00a0 Either he’s really into me and just really wants lots of contact and can’t stop.\u00a0 Or he’s terrified he won’t manage the “right” amount of contact and somehow piss me off.\u00a0 Or, and I personally hate this one, he’s using the tactic as a\u00a0 manipulative compliment.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

In any case, I’ve had several men call themselves “stalkers” and then apologize for it.\u00a0\u00a0 Things like, “Just a ‘hi’ from your stalker.”\u00a0 or\u00a0 “I don’t want to seem like a stalker, but I really, really want to see you tonight.”\u00a0\u00a0 or the most common, “Hope you don’t think I’m a stalker but I enjoy chatting with you.”<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

And I wondered about this trend.\u00a0 WHAT women have these poor guys been talking to?\u00a0 Don’t the gals realize the level of effort and risk these men do putting themselves out there.\u00a0 Women should reward the fact he had the balls to let her know he’s really into her with lots of contact.\u00a0 Even if his interest is just sexual.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Because there is the opposite of Stalker that women often have to deal with.\u00a0 The Disappeared Man.\u00a0 The Disappeared Man is the guy who is suddenly gone with no reason.\u00a0 And you’re left to figure it out yourself. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Most times The Disappeared Man is NOT the Stalker.\u00a0 The Disappeared Man is the one who thinks its just easier all around to drop contact as his way of saying “I changed my mind or found someone better.”\u00a0\u00a0 And most women have figured this out.\u00a0 We don’t like it, but we’ve learned what your silences mean.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

In my opinion, The Disappeared Man should take some lessons from the Stalker and just tell her.\u00a0 Not only does it save us all that mental guessing but its more respectful.\u00a0 We’ll actually value that level of honesty from a man regardless of the fact he’s dumping us.\u00a0 If you’ve got the balls to tell her then you’re not really an asshole are you?
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Now if the Stalker becomes The Disappeared Man that is truly a quandary.\u00a0 Because you think your Stalker has the respect and the words to express himself when he’s changed his mind.\u00a0 So you start imagining OTHER reasons for his silence.\u00a0 He was in an accident, he’s in the hospital somewhere unable to contact you.\u00a0 He’s lost his cell so he doesn’t have your number.\u00a0 (This actually happened where a cub’s cell took a nose dive into a pool and his contact list was fried.)\u00a0 Of course that doesn’t explain his inability to answer your emails!\u00a0 What are the chances his phone AND his computer are both out of commission?\u00a0 Yea… not unless you’re in a sitcom.
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Over all…. (and this is what I mean to convey with this post)…<\/em> I’d prefer the Stalker to the quiet man.\u00a0 Because for me its the squeaky wheel syndrome.\u00a0\u00a0 He who asks will get more, than he who waits for me to ask.\u00a0 Remember all women have been trained by The Disappeared Man.\u00a0 If you’re silent we WILL assume you’ve lost interest, changed your mind or found someone else you prefer.\u00a0 Because we’ve traveled down the road of made up possible excuses for your silence and its led us no where.
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Don’t accidentally be The Disappeared Man.\u00a0 Be the Stalker.\u00a0 What have you got to lose?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And imagine what you have to gain.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve had a few men apologize for “being obsessed” with me.\u00a0\u00a0 I know my girlfriends are laughing at that one.\u00a0 Because they know I adore attention!\u00a0 But when more than one male does a particular habit I start looking at … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1113","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-naughty-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1113","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1113"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1113\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1142,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1113\/revisions\/1142"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}