{"id":1160,"date":"2010-05-10T11:37:08","date_gmt":"2010-05-10T18:37:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=1160"},"modified":"2025-11-04T10:54:42","modified_gmt":"2025-11-04T17:54:42","slug":"perceptions-and-prejudice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/?p=1160","title":{"rendered":"Perceptions and Prejudice"},"content":{"rendered":"

They say first impressions are the ones that last.\u00a0 I’d agree with that AND disagree with that.\u00a0 Impressions are like paintings.\u00a0 Paintings we add to as we get to know the person.\u00a0 We fill in color and shading, change the shapes of faces and add expressions.\u00a0 Backgrounds are filled in as we learn about that individual.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Its a beautiful process if you look at it that way.\u00a0 And it illustrates why the first impression CAN be important.\u00a0 Because if that first impression (or the LAST impression) is dark, negative, black it’s much harder to paint another, lighter shade color over that.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

When my mother and I were discussing her siblings she casually wondered why they can’t seem to see her in the same light as her peers and children do? (We adore her.)\u00a0\u00a0 I hit her with the painting example and told her, “They’ve transferred their resentment over their narcissistic, unloving mother you all had over to you.\u00a0 Because you were the only loving person in the house and you also couldn’t love them because you went away (was sent away with another sibling the family couldn’t handle) when they were little. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

“So their painting of you is dark and angry,” I told her.\u00a0 “And all the shades of love seem to be in pastel!\u00a0 Only daily application is going to get enough paint of pastel colors to cover black.” <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Adding to that, I think, is the size of the brush some people use to paint in that first impression.\u00a0 And then I realized that some people don’t use their own brush to paint an individual.\u00a0 They use a preformed template.\u00a0 And sometimes they’ve had such bad experiences that their first color is dark and permanent.\u00a0 It’s these situations where prejudice comes and stays.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

So often we’re not letting ourselves do our own painting when we meet people.\u00a0 We are cheating.\u00a0 Using a template because we’re lazy and don’t want to take the time to see past that first glance.\u00a0 You see a person with 3 piercings and very black hair in black clothing… Goth template.\u00a0 You see a Hispanic man with tattoos in baggy pants… Gang template.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Business attire… Type A template.\u00a0 When we use templates we are missing out on a lot.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe its the creative artist in me, but for me it is incredibly fun to meet a new person.\u00a0 That first glance (or picture) is just a light sketch in my mind.\u00a0 That first email or chat inks a bit in.\u00a0 And as you meet the person, so many colors you can choose from, so much depth you can add!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

My inner painting of an individual becomes so vivid in my mind I often forget what a person really looks like.\u00a0\u00a0 I cease to be conscious of things like race, weight, hair color, eye color, etc.\u00a0\u00a0 So, guys, please don’t be offended when you hear me say,<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

“Wow!\u00a0 I’d forgotten how sexy\/cute\/hot\/delicious\/sweet\/ comfortable (insert specific adjective or all of them as they may apply) \u00a0 you were!”<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

And People if you use a template on me make sure you apply ALL<\/em> the templates that I<\/em> fit.\u00a0\u00a0 Smart Secretary, Juggling Mother, Creative Writer, Laughing Lover of Life&Fun and Sexy, Seductive Slut.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I dare ya to paint THAT! <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

And people wonder why one man isn’t enough!<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n


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They say first impressions are the ones that last.\u00a0 I’d agree with that AND disagree with that.\u00a0 Impressions are like paintings.\u00a0 Paintings we add to as we get to know the person.\u00a0 We fill in color and shading, change the … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1160","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-joy-of-family"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1160","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1160"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1160\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5149,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1160\/revisions\/5149"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1160"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1160"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.heatherbarton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1160"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}