I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. And it’s not that there’s nothing going on in my life… just the opposite… it may be that I’ve found other things to occupy my energy. But when something unusual happens (and no doubt everyone around me is either sick of hearing about this or just thinks I’m crazy) I want to put it down on paper and this blog is the best equivalent.
I met a guy.
That in itself isn’t unusual. How we met isn’t unusual (yes.. met him off the sex site). Had a good first meet and set up a play date… also not unusual. Had a very good play date… all these facts have been repeated endlessly for 15 years. So what is the difference now?
The difference is the intense connection I have with this man. His geek speaks to my geek… his spontaneity speaks to my spontaneity… when the conversation flows to my favorite band Nothing But Thieves, he spouts the lyrics (I stare at him in shock)… when his pics show him drumming and he admits he drums in a band, my inner slut for drummers purrs. I can barely contain the desire to get my hands on his long, thick wavy black hair, but we sidetrack with a trip to the liquor store so I can introduce him to my favorite Chocolate and Banana whisky by Scatterbrain.
And that was just the meet!
The play date was different also. Things I’d usually not prefer in a lover were just absolutely wonderful with this man. The transition from enjoying sushi to enjoying each other naked was so seamless I felt like a sexy goddess in the hands of a man who knew exactly what to do. And he even thought to ask for boundaries from me (although I was so addicted by then it would have been a yes to just about everything) before pushing past the typical and taking me right to the border of those boundaries. And boy did I love riding that wave. And not ONCE did I need any lubrication! Seriously, it was like being right back into my 40’s and at my sexual peak.
I was 15 minutes late to work cuz we got so wrapped up in being around each other just talking that we (or for sure, ME!) forgot there was a time limit on that first play date! I was physically sated and purring but mentally a bit stunned, confused & distracted my whole shift at work. Ironically when I checked in with him that same day he was energized but also a bit disoriented on our intensity.
And just like when Fate decides to bring a person into my life, I can see the patterns between us and in those moments I understand why so long ago mankind had invented religion. Ha! So when this man suggested we become buddies on our mutual astrological app Co-Star I was so surprised he was on the app and pleased he wanted to, I said sure. (Not knowing how to do that cuz apps are still a little foreign for me and him just walking up and beeping it into existence.)
Now before everyone yells at me… I don’t often follow the day to day of astrology (although sometimes it’s hilariously accurate) but I DO tend to live up to most predictions in my chart. (I’m so Aries the first 4 houses of my chart are … Aries, Aries, Sagittarius, Aries.. like. ALL fire!) So when I was talking with my friend about this new guy who’s a Sagittarius…she immediately exclaimed, “We love Sags! They’re so much fun! They love to just throw you around in bed.” Which exactly happened and was amazing and surprising and WTF how did she know that before I told her!
Then she pulls our charts (probably used ChatGTP) and.. in her words.. “Holy shit dude, I’ve literally never seen more compatible natal charts! His sun is in your moon sign which tends to make you obsess over him”… and I realized THAT is what’s going on in my head… cannot get this man off the forefront of all my thoughts… and THEN she says.. “AND your sun is his moon, which makes him obsess over you”… and I relax a bit cuz I can handle an obsession if it’s on both sides.
There’s more but it’s all good compatibility and when I bring it up to him he agrees this is a unique connection. Which we are both very eager to test this again, so we set up time on my next day off 6 days later. By the 5th day, with little effort, he got me over to his place again before my work shift. And…. it was mind blowing.
First off, I walk in the door and he’s naked just out of the shower and my libido spikes off the charts at his naked body. I’ve been throbbing and wet just on the drive through traffic to get to him. He’s got me instantly in his arms and we’re off. (I could go into detail but then I’d have to stop typing and go masturbate.) Let me just say that it had been sooooo long since I’d been fingered so expertly that I forgot I squirted heavily and used to always have to lay down a towel, so I soaked his bed.. twice. Whatever he was doing with his fingers was amazing, like my clit and pussy were a keyboard he was playing chords on. Did I mention all the guitars on his wall… there must be at least 5.
I don’t know how long this will last… he is 30 years my junior… but I’m going to enjoy every minute of this ride for as long as he wants it.
UPDATE:
Well, that lovely ride lasted 15 weeks, possibly even less for him as he was the one who said “no” when I asked if we would ever have sex again.
On my end the attraction and chemistry never waned and the few times I wondered (and therefore asked because I’m an Aries) if he wanted to stop seeing me he would reassure me that wasn’t the case, he wanted to keep seeing me. Right up until this last time when it seemed like connecting to him was pulling teeth and I was just trying to exchange each other’s stuff back.
Am I surprised? No. I know myself. I can be a lot and overwhelming to some men, particularly if they hit all my interest points (sexy, fun, interesting, good in bed) and very, very into me. Because when I find a man that interesting I do want to connect a lot and often.
But I also tell people who I like to spend time with (practically beg them) if I’m getting to be too much, doing something that annoys you, crossing boundaries you’ve not clearly set for me please, PLEASE inform me! It is never my intent to annoy. I’m a natural entertainer taking great joy in making others smile and laugh, even it I’m just smiling and laughing with them. My friends know this and I am well loved and cherished by all of them. Truly, I am blessed when it comes to friends in my life.
Oh but men in a sexual relationship can be more difficult. Particularly if I start to favor one… to get a bit attached. To want to turn my horny libido frequently to just one man. I guess that can be challenging… although in the beginning of this entire lovely affair our biggest hurdle standing in the way of frequent sex was his roommate and my roommate to the point twice I got us hotel rooms (found one with a spa tub in the room!) Otherwise I’m pretty sure we would have been doing it more than once a week.
I don’t know what changed. Perhaps my energy initially really appealed to his ADHD and maybe over time that same energy exhausted or annoyed is Autism. Or maybe I said or did something he didn’t enjoy but instead of telling me just lost the desire to be intimate. I’ll probably never know, as I don’t ever chase men who don’t want me.
I will mourn the loss of future time enjoying him but I will not mourn the man. I’ll treasure the fun and everything that appealed to me about him but I’ll respect his choice to walk away. I do ask myself what I would say if he texted me wanting a booty call and I’m honest with myself to admit I would drive over if that door was open. But I’m realistic enough not to hold out hope for such a rare possibility.
