My Friend Frank has a Web-T.V. Site. I get weekly emails about what’s new and happening and in one of those emails I clicked and watched a little series he has on the site.
It was cute! I really enjoyed the premise, most likely because I could completely identify with the female lead. (Although she’s a bit of a clueless ditz.)
Two guys fight for the same chair at a speed dating event and the girl talks to both and likes both. So she calls both and begins to date both but she does it TOGETHER.
Its not that she can’t decide on the one or the other. Its that these two very different men BOTH click with her in different ways. Wanting the whole package she dates both together to get it.
Looking at the FWB’s in my life I realized that each man is very different and often appeals to a completely different side of me. He connects to me in his unique way and that brings out a certain side to me. Yes, most people do this in every relationship. But when you “choose one” you choose only that one side of you. Because its almost impossible to connect a man with ALL your sides. Its why you often have girlfriends and family to make up the balance.
Me, I got lucky. I scrapped monogamy and got more than one man to connect with the many sides of me. With K.. we talk politics (and have great sex). With S… we talk parenting and I bask in his intense (but widely spaced) adoration of me and my body (and have great sex!) With D… I get the most intense full body massage and talk relationships and divorce (and have great sex.) With B… my Coachella partner, I have fun. Pure, silly, adventurous fun. (Oh and great sex!)
And there are others I click with just as uniquely but if I start listing ALL I may burst a few bubbles!
But the point being, I’m a complex woman. Yet I’m smart enough to realize that NO ONE man can fulfill ALL the diverse parts of me and it is truly unfair to expect him to.
There is ONE thing that ALL my FWB’s have in common. They don’t have a problem with my poly-amorous desires. They generously share.
Oh and they’re really great at sex! Of course, maybe it’s me who’s great at sex, after all I’M the common denominator here!