Yes, it’s a bit late to blog about Mother’s Day. Bite me. I seem to always be a bit behind. Ironic since I’m rarely late to an appointment, but that may be the level of anticipation to some of those “appointments”.
So my Mother’s Day was rather peaceful. I didn’t have a play date the night before so I could be there in the AM when my boys woke up and thundered into my bed to cuddle me. (They actually spend about 5 minutes cuddling me and 25 minutes playing and wrestling around in my king size bed. Alternating between burrowing under the covers to tickle each other or fart on each other [they ARE boys] or pile on top of each other.)
No breakfast in bed, no gifts other than what the 2nd grader made in school. (Same teacher so now I have 3 colored candle holders… whee.) But that was fine with me. Because Mother’s Day fell on the monthly No Electronics Day Sunday. So after I made them clean my house (what they do every Sunday or Saturday, this time including washing the walls) we played board games. Okay, the 2nd grader and I played Hullabaloo (like twister for Kindergartners) and the older two and I played Star Wars Risk, which took 45 minutes just to figure out how to play! They valiantly lasted another 1.5 hours after THAT before begging me to let them give up.
And in reading my favorite blogs I came across this from The Bloggess. Love and Asperger\’s It teared me up.
See, my oldest has Asperger’s and I’ve had conversations like that one. Because the treasure (and sometimes the burden) of the Asperger’s child is they WILL ask those questions that many of us hold silently, deep in our hearts. Questions like, “Am I good son? Are my brother’s better than me. Do you think I’m incapable of making friends?”
And yes, the challenge of an Asperger’s child makes you incredibly creative as a parent. Because they question you on a deeper level (and they often remember EVERYTHING you answer them!) They rarely just sit back and learn from observing others around them. They’ll study things, facts, events (my son is currently obsessed with WWI – yes, really) but rarely people.
Perhaps that is what makes us different. The obsession in studying things and facts and events for the Asperger’s person, perhaps we have the same obsession but the rest of us have channeled it into studying each other. We just happen to call it “learning the social graces.”
My Asperger’s son is just starting puberty. He turns 13 in a few months and he’s anticipating his “teen” years with endless questions of what middle school was like for me when I was 13. (All I can think to say is, we called it Jr. High not Middle School, and like all school it sucked… but I don’t say that.)
And true to his nature the conversation went like this…
Luke: Mom, guess what I just Googled?
Me: Um, World War One?
Luke: No
Me: World War Two?
Luke: No
Me: The Vietnam War?
Luke: No
Me: I got nothing. I give up, what did you Google.
Luke (big grin on his face): Adolescence!
Parent Me in my Head: Holy Shit, where did THAT lead him!
Writer in my Head: OMG, that’s hysterical! Great material!
Me who answered Luke: Wow… you know puberty is a process that takes years and isn’t going to magically happen when you turn 13 don’t you?
Luke: Yea, I know. I just want to be prepared.
Me in my Head: Oh well, done is done. At least he’s taking the initiative!