A quick post because all 7 of the other drafts aren’t ready! And life is, as always, crazy busy. Just wait until I start writing again! I won’t have time for ANY new posting!
Anyway.. I had Easter dinner with my mom over at my brother’s house. I got to see their newly remodeled bathroom which looks gorgeous! And got to envy a little bit the way their furniture looks so nice and matched and works so well with the paint on the walls! My jealously is tempered with the knowledge that my brother’s wife when to design school so she’s got WAY more of a knack to do this than I do. Plus when I moved into MY house I got it after it was remodeled. My sister-in-law has waited almost a decade to get her BATHROOM done… don’t even mention the work “kitchen” to her!
We were joined by a couple from their church, which was both unexpected and expected. My brother & his wife are very social and their church is very big on staying tightly connected.. which is only ONE of the reasons its often referred to as a Christian cult! Rarely have I got to dinner at their house and NOT have someone from their church join the family event.
Anyway.. this couple was very nice. Around my brother’s age (making them younger than I). They’d known them & my sister for almost 15 years & met my Dad(whose personality I take after). My natural wariness to anybody from my brother’s church (I dislike “God is Everything” kind of people) wars with my desire to met a new audience who hasn’t met “Heather” and heard my stories. New people are potential “Wow you are sooo cool!” candidates that feed my needy ego. Which is always fun for me.
They laughed at my comments and stories and had great stories of their own. And I managed NOT to monopolize the conversation or turn everything about me.. (proud of myself there) But… and there is always a but, isn’t there. But in one story my mother makes a comment about how she learned from THAT trip to never take a recalcitrant teenager on a trip (she’s talking about when we took a trip to Europe).
re·cal·ci·trant/riˈkalsətrənt/
Noun: A person with such an attitude.
To which I exclaim, “I was in my 20’s!”
Which is supposed to be funny and prove her wrong. But the husband of this new couple begins to jokingly argue that I certainly SOUNDED like a teenager. Kind of a “if the immaturity fits..” comment or two or three.
And I found myself bristling. I dropped the subject and the conversation naturally flowed into something else and I joined it here and there as if nothing was wrong. But it was at that point that I no longer liked the couple. No.. I take that back. I no longer trusted them. I know a barb when I feel one.
But I’m also an incredibly self absorbed personality. So I’m looking at my actions wondering if I brought that on myself in any way. WAS I really THAT immature at that age? No, not really. Was I and have I always been and will I always be opinionated? Oh yes. Is it immaturity to stand up for what you dislike or like about food? (which is what I was complaining about.) Is it fair to label a person immature just because they DON’T enjoy traveling to new countries as much as you do? When you use her to carry 5 bags and she’s both your employee and assistant as well as your daughter? Don’t even get me started on how different the European trips with my brother and sister were when she took them.
All that popping in and out in my head as the conversation moved on through different subjects. I participated but I realized it was at half mast. And that wasn’t just me reacting to the barb.. it was the company of the room. I cannot talk about sex or dating or men at this table. I cannot curse to embellish nor shock with truth as I usually enjoy doing in a new conversation. As there are kids at this table and my mother and these are all “good church goers”. Gack.
By the end of the evening I was left with two impressions.
One.. grown ups are boring. BORING! Wrapped up in their “I make the right decisions and you do not because you aren’t as grown up as me” assurance they seem like they’ve boxed themselves into their comfortable life. And from that great height they look down on those of us exploring new things and trying the unusual.
I look at the interesting things I’ve done and experienced and how I’ve grown with it and I wonder if maybe that’s why I don’t want to become one of them. Wait.. not grown with it…. expanded. I’ve expanded myself with new experiences. They act like the only growing they can do is to grow closer to God because they’re all finished in all the other areas. Cuz they’re Grown Ups!
The other thing I learned? heh heh heh. My nephew got a dose of my sense of humor in the genes he inherited from my brother. Quirky, comedic statements, good delivery and half the time no one gets his humor. He’s young (almost 17) and too good a Christian to be comfortable with my level of humor so I won’t expose him to it. But now I know who I plan on sitting next to at ALL family dinners in the future.
Odd humor is NEVER boring!