Contrived holidays are annoying. I get the feeling they are ideally for those who are NOT dealing with the object of the contrivance on a daily basis. In other words, if you’re estranged from your parent (or whoever) this little day gives you a chance to remedy the situation.
But to those who have children and are MOM every moment of the day, Mother’s Day is a day to receive the forced art your little monkeys did at school. Now sometimes that is freakin ADORABLE! But sometimes its just more annoying clutter you HAVE to keep. (Now where do I put THIS!) Before I was a Mom, this contrived holiday meant one day to focus on my mother. Now it’s celebrate her and then celebrate me… so its much more a job. Like I said…. annoying.
And I work with my mother. I talk to her almost every day, both on personal stuff and work stuff. I keep her organized, I’m one of her sounding boards, I’m there for her just like she’s there for me. So we don’t need a special day to express how much we appreciate each other. So the conversation goes like this…
ME: Mom, want me to come over on Sunday? Do something for Mother’s Day?
MOM: Um, well, actually I want to sit with my editor and see if we can hammer out the last hour of the DVD.. Get that DONE!
ME: Sounds perfect!
Don’t get me wrong. My mother was a fantastic Mom, which is kinda amazing considering HER mother sucked at the job. So my mother ended up trying to mother herself and her 5 younger siblings. Was she a perfect Mom? No way. We’re all flawed, its what makes us so unique. But she loved uninhibitedly. We were the pure beings who she could finally pour out all her love to. And we thrived on it. Not only that, all three of us emulated it for the most part. We adore our kids and don’t hold back the affection. Are we good disciplinarians? Hell yes, cuz that’s part of the loving. Are we perfect parents? Hell no cuz that’s not part of reality!
But I’ve always told my Mother that I KNEW I’d be a good mother I just always knew it. And on Mother’s Day, I tell her that’s because I had a great teacher at mothering. My real pride is watching her Mother her students at USC. Watching her Mother each patient she sees in her Pediatric practice, showing the new Mom’s how easy it can be. I more than love my Mother, I admire her.
And ironically I don’t have my kids this weekend, this Mother’s Day weekend. Will by ex prompt my boys to call me? Well, he didn’t a month ago when it was my birthday! So I hold out little hope they’ll remember its Mother’s Day and call me.
Am I sad about that? Not really. It’s just a day. I know how much my children love me. I get it every time I pick them up on my Friday. Intense hugs and “I MISSED you, Mom!!” greet me. And I get it every Thursday that they go back to their fathers’. “Wow.. time at your house, Mom, goes by twice as fast as at Dad’s!”
Of course, maybe what they are missing is less “ME” and more, my cooking, their own rooms, the comfort of the house they grew up in, and an active parent who makes them do homework and quizzes them on multiplication tables!
Well, maybe not that LAST part!
Happy Mother’s Day!