Tomorrow is Father’s Day. All the posts on blogs and Facebook are going to be about Fathers. I’ve seen a few of them already. Little things like “Lets ALL replace our profile pix with those of our Dad’s in honor of how wonderful they are…”
*Gack*
My Dad wasn’t the best dad. He wasn’t wonderful or in any way at the Hallmark level of parenting. He was just himself. My Mother managed to fulfill many of the “Best Mom” criteria.. but not my Father. He was too narcissistic to self-sacrifice. And when I was very young I really resented the way he “let” my mother pick up his slack in everything.. in working to bring money in, in chores around the house and in parenting.
But by the time I hit my 30’s I’d come to accept my Father as a human being with faults and NOT a crucial element of my value. Yes, I was a good enough person to DESERVE a great Dad.. just because I didn’t HAVE that didn’t lessen my value. And I learned to love him for who he is.
That didn’t do me all THAT well since the man I ended up marrying was very similar to him in the sense that “Mom did it all” but I can probably blame that on both my parents for modeling that! And not divorcing until I was 21.. way to old to realize what I saw wasn’t necessarily the BEST way to go about being a family. I broke that cycle, thankfully!
Ed O'Neil
I currently adore the t.v. series Modern Family because Ed O’Neil IS my Father. No, my Dad didn’t marry a hot Cuban woman and was never rich or business savvy… but the face and mannerisms and lines of O’Neil’s character is soooo my father I laugh on a personal
- My Dad.. I cropped off his body.. you REALLY don’t want to see that in a swimsuit
basis every time. See, I have my father’s dry, sarcastic wit. AND his narcissist based personality. Luckily I inherited my Mother’s self-sacrifice and her work ethic to balance it out!
Watch this clip and you’ll literally SEE my Father’s facial expressions. Modern Family
OK.. maybe no one sees the resemblance but me.
But in any case, I can only hope that when my children grow up they can somehow learn to accept the fact their Father is a human with faults.. (many faults!) …and grow into accepting him for who he is. Because right now, of the three, only the youngest likes him at all. And I think that’s due to the fact he’s young & has my ability to understand my Ex.
When I asked the boys if they wanted to get a Father’s Day card the older two were vehement in their “No Way!” answers. The youngest said he’d made him a gift in school & didn’t want to spend his money. I dropped the subject. I spend enough time softening the negative impact my Ex has on the psyche of my children. He’ll have to take SOME consequences of reaping what he sows.
This Father’s Day I’ll call my Dad and ask him if he watches Modern Family. If he doesn’t.. maybe I’ll go over and make him watch an episode with me. Although he may not enjoy it at all since he’s such a Christian Republican! I wonder if he has self value issues over the Democrat Hedonist he spawned! lol