I’ve been bad. I’ve been pouting and sulking at Sex God because I’m feeling “neglected”.
And for some insane reason I feel that he should fix that. Crazy! Because that’s just not how it works My fun Sex God isn’t responsible for making me happy. I’m the one who is responsible for that. And my mood is bringing down his happy high.
So I began to really look at “why” I’m feeling neglected. Because I’d rather fix a problem than dwell on it. Being sulky and pouting at Sex God isn’t fair to him. Its not HIS fault he got a promotion and might be working more. Its not HIS fault my weekends and his haven’t meshed together in weeks. Its not HIS fault that I’ve had too much “Mommy Heather” and waaaay not enough “Sexy Heather” time.
THAT was what I concluded after my introspection.
Its natural for a woman to try and solve these types of feelings by soliciting more attention from whatever and whoever usually fulfills them. And most women get sulky and pout to let that source know they need attention. I’m no exception in that regard. But I am an exception when I realize that I’m expecting another person to make me happy it irks me BIG time!
I think its always been a part of me. And its probably one of the reasons my marriage didn’t work. I tend to fix my own problems, acquire my own desires, fulfill my own needs. Its also one of the reasons I make such a GOOD lover, girlfriend, friend with benefits. If I need something from a man I’ll tell him. Conversely, if I’m not getting what I need from a man (or situation or life or my kids, etc.) I’ll do what I think I need to do to fix it or acquire it.
I adore spending time with my Sex God. But we ARE over an hour drive apart. I’ve told him if he wants me to be exclusive he’d have to take up the slack of all other affection giving men. And he hasn’t asked for that. But I began to give it to him anyway and expecting more emotionally.
Tsk, tsk, on me.
But don’t worry too much. I can fix it. 🙂