I’ve already written a lively post about my Chicago experience and told you much about Joseph, the underwear model I thoroughly enjoyed there. Well, I’ve finally settled on his nick name… Ultimate Man. So, of course (!) I must tell you why that fits him better than the other choices I had.
It’s the way he throws his ALL into the sexual encounter.
Now I’m not saying most men don’t try to use all their skill to make sex as wonderful as possible for all parties involved. Because I firmly believe they do. I think its the one place a man truly tries to “give” as much as he gets. And as a woman who’s had a few moments of trying to please another women, lets give ALL men a round of applause for the efforts they put into this! Cuz ladies, we are WORK! And there is soooooo much pressure on men to perform and please and live up to crazy expectations in and out of the bedroom that sometimes comes with women, that let’s face it… if it wasn’t for their cock demanding sex they probably would just go watch football or something.
But there are some men who love sex so much they’ve surpassed the skill of the average lover. They’ve experimented with the extreme fringes of sexual acts and learned things about their bodies and female bodies that have elevated them from your typical “player” or married-to-one-woman forever man. (Although, caveat, some couples end up more experienced than single people out of the need to keep things spicy but that doesn’t mean a man’s skill extends beyond the body of that one woman and women can be vastly different.) These types of lovers are a wonderful treasure and often are the types that tend to wither in monogamous relationships. They are Hedonists and spice and lust and sex are of a higher value in their system than to the average man. They make the best lovers and pretty much ALL my favorites fall into this category.
But there is a higher category than the Hedonist and that is where Ultimate Man falls into. And how do I know this is a category and not just where I put Ultimate Man? Because Tongue God also falls into this same category. This is the category where the Hedonist adores women so much he makes love to them on a level that combines skill with complete sincerity in their worship of YOU. Not just your body, but YOU. It is an amazingly orgasmic experience and it is heady, dangerous stuff. Very much NOT for the weak!
Their caresses are more intense, they are attentive to every nuance, they spend hours on foreplay tailored just for you, they… and here is the dangerous part… they look you deep in the eyes for long periods of time.
I recently read an article that talked about the 8 signs your man is in love with you if he’s not said it and the FIRST TWO were (1) long periods of eye contact and (2) looking at you when you aren’t looking at him. So when this top category of lover is worshiping you with his every look and act and aim he is giving your lizard brain a million signals which are screaming… “He’s in love with you!!”
Hence the designation that they Make Love, they do not just Fuck. And I gotta tell you, its safer if you just fuck. Really! Because there are inherent problem in making such sweet love to a woman and sending her brain subtle signals that you’re falling in love with her! It’s why MOST men actively avoid sending those signals until they ARE in love!
Tongue God is 4 years my senior. When I met him 3 years ago he was 51 and well versed with the reactions he had with women. It has never stopped him from being the man he is and I love it when I get to play with him. Although I have learned to curb his ego’s desire to get more orgasms out of me than any other. Like orgasms outa me is difficult!! Ha! Sheesh. Want a challenge?!?… get my lust up to crescendo level and let me loose on ya… That is a ride few can do much less handle and one of the reasons Sex God is Sex God.
Drat, I got side-tracked.
What Tongue God has learned over the years to do is literally forewarn every lover about this misconception his style leaves them with. I distinctly remember him telling me, “When I make love with a woman I’m so intense about it that a lot of women think I’m in love with them. I want to make it clear that I’m not going to change my life. I’ve had women I’ve dated as friends suddenly want to meet my kids and I realize they’ve misunderstood our relationship. They think I’m in love with them.”
At the time I just smirked at his arrogance but I must say I felt the pull of him almost immediately. His was the first pedestal I was happy to be on. (Granted I was on my back, but it was a BIG pedestal!) The way he stroked my ego into truly FEELING as special as I secretly hoped and wanted to be, well it was addicting and I wanted more of it. Like any Goddess, I wanted that adoration. Plus he was very handsome and a ‘catch’ as he was smart, single & in a good tax bracket. That in itself is a lizard brain allure many women fall under.
I met Tongue God before Sex God and whenever I had a free night he was the first man I texted for sex. And he never put me off if he was available, but since neither of us could host at the time, him being available was extremely rare. Although come to think of it, he could have afforded a hotel room if he’d wanted me that badly. lol
I quickly realized that when he was with me I was his world. But when I was not… well, I was not! And the feelings he generated in me were mine to deal with and not truly his fault. He’d warned me, after all! After I met Sex God and here was a man who treated me as girlfriend material and was my equal on the same path in so many compatible ways…. well, lets say I can now easily resist any confusing signals Tongue God sends my way when we’re together. Of course it helped he was the third in my threesome in Vegas.. him and Sex God! I got to compare them together and realized when it came to attraction I was more attracted to Sex God. Tongue God is sexy but he’s 10 years older than Sex God. Sometimes age matters in attraction.
Not Joseph but an example of the level of intensity in the eyes
And brings us right back to Ultimate Man. Ultimate Man is a juicy 38. Ultimate Man is frankly more eye candy than my libido knows what to do with. In other words my brain truly turns off when I set eyes on him in conversation…. very disconcerting to this storyteller!!! My little voice kept begging me to look at him while he was making love to me. (I think her exact words were, “put your glasses on bitch!”) But every time I snuck a peak I fell just a little bit more in love with him. He pulled my heart-strings like I was in high school with a first crush! So I would peep a look at him while we were making love and instantly curse inside. There he was staring at me JUST like the smitten love interest of EVERY romantic movie ever made!
Ultimate Man… who has more skill than ANY man I’ve ever been with, and let me tell you… THAT is saying something. Ultimate Man who I sense because of the way he takes charge, reads a woman and is quietly commanding could dominate me in a sub/dom role-play that would be as epic as they say 50 Shades of Gray is. (And the experimental me WANTS that experience!) Sex God cannot dominate me as our relationshipp has evolved into me being the dominant and truth be told a Dom has to really spend the time to lay out the “Scene” to do the job proper and few of my lovers spend the time doing that.
Ultimate Man… who left me with the words, “This isn’t the last time you’ll be seeing me.”
So close to Joseph's "look"
It is every woman’s fantasy to be loved by an Ultimate Man. It is every woman’s right to experience sex with an Ultimate Man. But it is not every woman who can fall in love (because you WILL fall in love, even if you already ARE in love with another!) with an Ultimate Man and mentally realize its just your hind lizard pheromones reacting subconsciously and then work yourself out of the feelings. (I’m half-way there, but it’s only been two weeks and it’s taken many nights with 3 different men so far lol)
Joseph told me on our first night together that when he meets a woman he’s always looking for that something… that some “thing” that some women have. He admitted it wasn’t confidence although its often mistaken for that. He told me he was thrilled when he met me and saw that I had it. I think he searches for women who have strength. And I think he needs it in his lovers so they can resist this natural reaction and he can sex them as he desires, with his all.
But I think he needs to give his lovers the same caveat as Tongue God gives to his. As a matter of fact he needs to give it 5 times more as he’s not only 5 times as sexy & hot, but he’s been “making love to the camera” for almost 20 years now… that “intense look” is such a part of him I’m surprised he doesn’t get raped on the street!
I think now I'm just using the search for "examples" as a desire to FIND shots of Ultimate Man
Perhaps I’m more susceptible to his charms. Perhaps he just does it for me on a deep level. I may never know. I do know that while I’m attracted to many types, I tend to stop seeing the facade of men and lust the individual behind the trappings of their physical looks. I know that sounds existential but its kind of how I see ALL people. And it’s one of the perks to Sex God… whenever I look over at him he’s like new eye candy that instantly sparks lust. Few men do that for me. Oh I like what I see and I’m attracted to them and lust them, but the eye candy, drooling, turn my mind off lust… I think prior to Joseph only Sex God had mastered that for me.
My friend Pat asked me “if THIS was the guy if he asked you to would you go monogamous?” And then she laughed as I immediately hesitated! That having answered it all apparently. Yes, I would be an ecstatic camper if I thought I held a special place in the heart of Ultimate Man. But I know even Ultimate Man alone could never keep me emotionally satisfied. Partly because Ultimate Man has a full and busy life with no room for monogamous attachments and partly because as much as he does it for me and I fantasize I do it for him (while doubting it the entire time) we are very different, in different stages of our path, with different likes and desires.
I have to be honest with myself. I love men too much to give up flirting and possibly enjoying a new man for the trappings of monogamy. Even monogamy with Ultimate Man! It’s why Sex God and I work, because monogamy doesn’t work for either of us and we can freely love each other without restrictions and in total honesty.
Of course that doesn’t mean I’m not setting aside a little something every month for a plane ticket to Chicago. I’m not stupid!
Not stupid... just in stalker mode!