Monogamy is a weird institution. Almost as strange as Marriage to me. Why and how did it develop?
My friend Kim claims this, “Marriage is the male trying to OWN a womb.” Of course she’s in the middle of mediating a divorce with her Pisces husband of 22 years and 5 kids.
Culturally its been mostly about women needing someone to bring in some meat while she’s stuck with the little ones…. because she’s breastfeeding them and its hard to kill a mammoth when your carrying an infant you have to stop and feed every two hours.
So we needed their help during the baby years and they got sex out of it and a variety in their diet. Then farming came along. And two men can do the same amount of farm work as probably 4 women. So we weren’t really “helping” them as effectively as another man could. Ah… but in comes the dowry, which was usually land or money. And bam… we’re worth the investment. And he’s doing the majority of the hard labor while we’re doing “hard labor” of birthing and raising the kids, plus baking, canning and other stuff.
And when the kids are grown… why don’t they leave? Even when the women start to resist having sex… why don’t they leave? Or when one or both parties are unhappy… why don’t they both just call it quits or at least go out and get happy with someone else?
Twice when I’ve brought up the interesting concept of Open Marriage the male response was, “It’s not that I’d be jealous, but I don’t want to miss the sex I’m not having.”
Baffling! Neither are assuming they’d also be getting other sex. They were just concerned they’d be missing the current sex. They’d be willing to pass on other sex in case they MIGHT (although might not) get the sex at home.
So I’ve been studying this new strange phenomenon in confusion. Yes, I know there are plenty of males who don’t think this way… but I’m realizing this is the monogamous sub-species. This is probably the species that stayed with the female and bred consistently… passing on this trait. And this sub-species was probably favored by the females.
And I bet this worked out great. Because for a male to be successful enough to get a “wife” he was usually 10 to 15 years older than her. Assuming she survives all the children, he’s usually dead of a heart attack by the time she hits her sexual peak.
And that’s when the non-monogamous species comes in. That free male who’s determined never to “marry” who doesn’t settle down with one female. HE’s something she can now play with. Or she can play with the young males of the other sub-species knowing what while they’re waiting until they’re successful enough they still have physical needs she can toy with.
Yes, Cougar’s have been around FOREVER people. They just purr not roar.