Sad but true, sometimes shit just happens. I try not to take it personally (and fail most of the time) but lately when shit happens I feel as if fate is trying to tell me something.
Right now it seems to be telling me to have less contact with everyone or have less someones. Because, EO, I lost the address to contact you. And the wonderfully fun women I met in Orlando…?… they must be super busy because they don’t email back or indicate they’re reading the blog by commenting.
One thing about me… I know deep inside I’m a rather needy person. I always have been. So early on I learned NOT to force myself on another person just because I wanted their human contact. Not everyone finds me as fascinating as I find me. (Oh, stop laughing. If you’re reading the blog, then you find me interesting and so the previous sentence obviously doesn’t apply to YOU. Those who don’t find me interesting aren’t reading the blog so I can’t really hurt their feelings, now can I?)
Anyway… back to whining the point. Because of my habit NOT to Over-Inflict myself on others I don’t usually initiate contact more than twice in a row with no response. I find that no matter how much they enjoy your company in any event, day or evening… it’s not always enough to keep them wanting to continue in your company enough to make the effort.
People are busy. Everyone has their own lives. I understand that. But I’ve got my insecurities telling me I’m nagging a stranger or new friend to be my friend and my pride telling me to stop begging other’s when its obvious they don’t want the contact.
Same thing happens with my writing and the blog. Many people asked to read Cat. So I emailed her off to them. Over 10 people got her and only 4 people ever said anything to me about whether they like it or not. Only 3 have ever finished her. Again, I know people are busy but frankly don’t ask for my book and then not read it.
So with summer gone we all gather less. We buckle down into our lives and contact when we can. And I’m down a friend unless I can miraculously find that contact address. As if it wasn’t bad enough I no longer get to see Gina once a week, or Eithne every day.
Like I said, sometimes… shit happens. And it sucks. It’s why we call it shit.
UPDATE – Today I found out that Mike at the Post Office is being transferred due to budget costs. Another fun and weekly contact “poof”ing away.