Heather Barton

So I explained why I chose allowance with chores

Kids and Money – The Why

and when I started it and a little on the how…the chore chart.

Kids and Money – The When

Let me tell you some of the progression changes.

As the kids got older I eventually upgraded the piggy banks to wallets and the penny a chore to a nickel a chore. At one point I assigned chores to each child as fairly as possible, according to what they could do. You feed this pet at night, you feed this pet in the morning and you feed this other pet, etc. At the end of the day I confirmed who did what and put up their stars (ouch) or later I entered marks with dry-erase on the chart.

It seemed that every year I changed a bit of the system. As they got older and whinier I demanded more responsibility from them. And I was willing to do whatever it took to get it. Reminding them, they were Adults in Training.

Then, one summer I put limitations on game time until all chores were done. I got tired of constantly reminding each of them of each chore they had to do every day and put up a basic “Check It” chart at the top of the stars and next to the front door.  This way I could remind them to do the basics (brush hair, make bed, brush teeth) with only the word “check the list” from me.

Then I made doing chores a little more voluntary, telling them that all chores were now fair game and if they wanted to do the easy ones they had better do them before their brothers got to it first. I actually got speed out of my oldest, who caught on and did all the easy chores first thing in the morning. I eventually had to reserve 5 of the easiest for the youngest unless I wanted to spend my day supervising him on the harder chores.

And then when my oldest was 10 and the others 8 & 6 I changed the rules again. I was fed up with the nagging and the complaining I got over having to do chores. I told them all that video games, computer games, movies and any t.v. time was all considered “Electronics” and a privilege that will now have to be earned daily. I insisted that the 10 and 8 year old keep track of their own chores by entering with the dry erase pen their initials in the correct square when they did a chore. If they didn’t enter it in, it didn’t get paid. No proof! (I still did it for the 6 year old.) I called the entries points and told them that they earned 30 minutes of electronics time for every 5 points done and had to have a minimum of 5 points to even watch someone else play.

O.k., a little sidebar here. My kids don’t fight over video game time. I’ve always had a timer for them to take equal turns and they happily watch another play while they wait their turn. Usually Luke will choose something and they will all watch him play and take their turns at that game. Even when I set up multiple electronic stations they all gather around one, watch and wait their turn. Whatever!

They still get to choose the chores (except for the youngest who gets first dibs on the easy chores.) and on Saturday and Sunday I add the big chores they can do, mop the floor after vacuuming, or dust the bookshelves or wash the dirt off the walls. This has worked brilliantly for the 10 year old. He decides how long he wants to play, 2 hours usually, and does the requisite 20 chores. The 8 years old promptly decided that 30 minutes was acceptable and does only the minimum. I’ve had to change the watching rules several times to motivate him to do more and he’s getting it, albeit slowly.

Now let me explain how I divided up the chores. The chores are divided up into easy to accumulate sections. One point per room vacuumed and the same with mopping. There are 10 vacuum-able rooms in the house. They get a point for cleaning the toilet, setting the table, unloading one section of the dishwasher. A point for making their bed, putting away 10 toys, sweeping the yard, anything I can add that I think they can do. Do they do all of them? Sometimes, yes…sometimes, no. On days they don’t do it, I do it. And on days I ask them to do it and they don’t, I will do it and explain to them that they chose not to do it and cannot change their mind later because I.   will.    do.   it.

Remember my goal, that they do all the work around the house and I do nothing. They’re getting there.

There are also 3 point jobs, like dusting the bookshelves and all the knick knacks I’ve put there. I’ve recently added a 10 point job of washing the car…although I haven’t trained them on how to do it properly yet. They are very excited!

They get a point for doing 3 helpful or nice things for their brothers. Get it. I’m trying to instill habits that I think will help them in life. I’m not that interested in whether “as part of this family you do your share”. Let’s face it. Money drives the world. If you want something you have to have money to get it. You have to be willing to do what it takes to achieve the goal to get what you want.

My kidsneed to be used to earning, spending and saving their own money so when they are out as 18 year olds they have the experience they need. They are Adults in Training.

They get a point for every observation they enter into their journal. I want them to be aware of the world around them now and start writing it down so as teens I can switch that awareness inward and they can start observing what motivates them and why they do what they do.

The chore chart is where I start. I can expand the type of observations I want them to see as they get older. How many bald men can you find in the grocery store?

And the funny thing is, sometimes they decide they don’t want electronic time and just play together. Nicely…really they do. Yea!

They are now almost 12, 10 & 8 and I no longer buy desert or electronics.  If they want any of that…they have to buy it themselves and the only way to do that is to earn the money from me.  The banker.  While the youngest hasn’t become materialist yet…gloriously the other two have.  I’m getting a lot more cooperative work out of them!

I read the most interesting bit in Discover Magazine.  The bit was by Stephen Ornes about how a Harvard University mathematician named Erez Lieberman created a formula that shows that verbs, slowly over time, change from irregular to regular.  The article helpfully reminded me the difference between a regular and irregular verb, because lets face it, who really remembers from English class. 

Regular verbs are the ones whose past tense ends in “ed”, like helped and the irregular verbs have no logic to their past tense. 

The article claimed that it takes approximately 5400 years (if an unpopular verb) to 38,800 years (if popular) from an irregular verb’s past tense to change.  So it’s a long time to wait for held to become holded.

And I thought…Hell, I can speed that up! 

If every mother and teacher stopped correcting the natural process of this change in their children we’d have this crazy language issue cleared up in about 2 generations!   Every child automatically makes all past tense verbs regular verbs.  It’s the adults who then, possibly in an effort to drive our children wonky, correct their child that the proper past tense is this completely unrelated word or worse…the same word!

               Did you read your book?  I read it an hour ago.

It would be so nice NOT to correct the children when they make these normal grammatical mistakes.  No one likes it when they get interrupted just so someone can be superior and announce they have used the incorrect word.  It ruins the story flow!

Imagine how we could raise the I.Q.’s of so many ignorant people, just be abolishing irregular verbs!