I can hardly believe it but in about 2 months I’ll have been blogging for three years. Yup. Floors me. This is blog #444 and I’ve spent the last few weeks going over every blog (again) to password protect any that can be used to harm those I love. Basically, my kids.
I’m not worried about my Ex or of the disapproval of others. I’m not ashamed of who I am or what I’ve done in my life. Quite proud actually, of my growth journey. No, I hide my material from the peers of my kids who might use the information to make their school lives miserable.
Although amusingly I find that fact pretty improbable. Especially as I get down to the first few original blogs. I know I’m probably the ONLY personal anal-retentive-compulsive enough to read a blog that has become a favorite from the very beginning. But then again, I read book series and absolutely refuse to start in the middle!
When I first started blogging it was a place to store my humor and stories as they occured. Kind of a first draft for stand-up, should I ever go that route. Probably not until the youngest is at least high school. By then my kids will know more of the real “me” and be adult enough to handle it or not my problem if they can’t.
And the same goes for unblocking all the password stuff. I’m going to enjoy the freedom of making all the visibility public once the kids are older. I never wrote them for private reasons. At my core I am a public personality. An open book of who I am, like it or not. Hiding myself feels JUST a little like a betrayal.
I look at others around me as they get all bent out of shape to keep their private lives private and wonder why? Why go to so much effort to hide who you are? Fear of disapproval? Fear of getting fired? Fear of being attacked?
I ask…. are you ashamed of who you are? Is any friend/job/relationship worth burying your true self for? This is the USA, you shouldn’t be attacked or harrassed for being who you are. Okay, well, maybe in SOME states that might happen. So don’t be foolish about it. Don’t move to a country that persecutes someone for being a Christian and then start preaching! Then again, if you are dumb enough to do that you deserve the consequences. After all, “the people” these days probably have access to texts (as in books, I’m old-school) or movies or rumor or maybe even, *gasp* the internet! The word is pretty out there, it doesn’t need you putting your life on the line for you to tell them in person. Or for ME to pay so you can do that.
Ooops… got off topic onto my personal pet peeve of Evangelicalism. Sorry.
The point being is people should be themselves. They may not be accepted for it, but they will, no doubt be happier for it. I like to think America and even more so the Internet is a place to be yourself and maybe even celebrate it. A lot of people use it to journal their lives, something that can be inspiring to others. Or just amusing! Ha! I know it has become something of both for me. A form of expression.
Although sometimes it seems more a duty than a joy! When I first started blogging I tried to do one blog per week in each category and posting a blog a day. LIFE put a kibosh on that after a year. It was such a job! And it took an entire weekend day to write up 7 blogs for the week! In case job and kids got ahead of me, I wanted to be prepared.
After a year I dropped it down to 3 blogs a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. And still I felt “pressure”. But by then I was dating, doing the single Mom thing and trying to organize my time. I had a lot of materiel and so little time to write it!
By now I’m down to two blogs a week. Tuesday and Friday and sooooo much of my past stories have been posted I’m down to the dregs. Although in a lot of ways I blame Facebook for that. When humorous things happen with the kids, I do a quick, cute little FB post instead of a long, expanded version of the story for the blog.
Best Birth Announcement EVER!
So Facebook, time management, my Ex and using up all my “good” stories are to blame for less of my personal blog. I like to think when I’m more free to be shocking and adventurous I’ll have more drive to be clever on the Internet.
Until then, you get this.