The other day my kids were in the car with me. The youngest two were in the back seat playing a DS game. Conor, the 8 yr old, was doing the playing. Evan, the 11 year old, was watching/coaching.
Evan: You can fight or you can run. Hey, why did you run away?
Conor: (harassed tone) I don’t have TIME to FIGHT!
I grinned wondering if he’d been born a bit like me. The multi-tasker who loves to complete… taking on more and more until it seems we’re always juggling. This trait of mine has been a blessing and a burden and is a symptom of our society. In my opinion, though, we do it because we CAN. Working and keeping up with the news and friends, juggling input and output.
Because we are social beings and having the input of others is important. Especially over jobs, relationships and kids. Its why the saying, “It takes a village…” resonated with so many women. Because sometimes we can’t do it ALL for our kids. And sometimes another person can connect with them on a level we cannot.
Yet we need to remember that almost EVERY village has an idiot! People who insist they know more about things than you do. (My neighbor is a woman like that.. and most of us just ignore her.) And people who’ve never had kids, or never had lazy kids, or never had overweight kids, or special ed kids… these people who judge with their opinions without ever walking in your shoes.
Yes it takes a village… a strong blacksmith to keep things working, several cooks to add variety to the food source, lots of hunters and growers to keep the food supply coming. Someone smart to lead, even more to follow. And it takes the curious to discover new ways to try things. It takes the risk-taker to jump in and do it. It takes the believer to support it. It takes the entertainer to keep everyone happy when their spirits are low. And it takes the idiot to show us that EVERY person is a person no matter how different their ideas are.
In the old days we banded together as a village. Then we whittled it down to banding together as a family. Today, as families become fluid and opinions change within them, we band together with our friends. The hardest part being finding friends who fit you.
Watch the movie, All About Steve, with Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper. It’s not hysterical, its cute. But what’s wonderful about it is the message.
Find Your Tribe.
I’ve been discovering mine and loving it. Its amazing to find the meaning of “Joy” at 47.