One of the fun parts about meeting men is some just stay your friends, even if the sex doesn’t work out or if they meet a girl and go monogamous. I have one such friend, (Jimmy!) and we talk a lot about his relationships! And mine. We’re buds.
Anyway in one such conversation the subject of moving in came up and I realized one thing that ANY couple should do from the very start is pay the bills together.
Every month, sit down and go over all the bills as you pay them. Budgeting as you go. Each of you pony into a household account what you need and then take the opportunity to discuss any issues this brings up.
Because there will be issues. Evan as time goes on and you move out of the honeymoon phase. This is where you find out how the other person spends, saves and whether or not they balance their checkbook.
I swear my ex NEVER balanced his checkbook when I met him. He’d round down on a deposit and round up on a check and never knew exactly what was in his bank account. I immediately changed THAT! But he also took out next months automatic mortgage payment from the register, just in case. Which was a wonderfully smart way to handle it.
If you pay the bills together, once a month, you’ll see who’s charging what, who’s putting in more of their salary than the other and get a real feel for the monthly expenses you have as a couple. You’ll also be able to make budgeting decisions together, like what will you do with any extra.
All these are important issues every couple should tackle in the beginning of the relationship. But I think its also very crucial to continually do this throughout a relationship. Finances change, expenses change, circumstances change… because people change.
Going over the finances every month to pay bills gives you the opportunity to talk through issues… ALL issues. Often people will spend or save as a reaction to other issues, like insecurity or unresolved conflict or resentment. Money and how its spent will bring up every other issue a couple may have. Therefor its important to keep regular discussions to hash out opinions and differences.
This is a fantastic way to maintain the lines of communication in a relationship. It’s like an hour a month of free couples therapy.
You got to admit, that’s Brilliant!