I’m paraphrasing from an article in Discover Magazine written by Elliott Kalan from The Daily Show. Too cute NOT to pass on!
1. When the future arrives, we won’t recognize it as first. What we think of as just more of the present will turn out, only after weeks of intensive study, to have been the future. 2. To keep this from happening again, humanity will adopt “Reality Savings Plan” and set its clocks forward 8 hrs. 3. An incalculably multiplayer online game is named America’s Best School District. Eager to compete, principals begin granting automatic tenure to Orcs and Night Elves. 4. By 2175 scientists have discovered the answers to all our greatest questions. They are: “No”, “Yes”, “Yes, but not the way we thought”, “Like two hands clapping, only quieter”, and “At the back of the closet, in the old shoe box”. 5. Apple’s latest iPhone, the NanoNano, is so small that it can be accidentally inhaled, periodically leaving friends embarrassing voice mails that consist entirely of heavy breathing. That is when it can get a signal. 6. Glaciers melt but its just the beginning of our problems. Earth starts making a strange knocking sound, then breaks down entirely. 7. In 2327 mankind successfully contacts aliens. Well, technically their answering machine, as the aliens themselves have gone to Alpha Centauri for the summer. 8. Desperate for help, humans leave increasingly stalker-y messages, turning off the aliens with how clingy our species is. 9. In 4441 Interstellar travel is perfected, allowing us to reach the edge of the space. Past the edge? Millions of light-years of unpainted drywall. 10. Ten billion years from now, our hyperevolved descendants gather to watch the scheduled heat death of the universe. Unfortunately, the event is preempted when time turns out to be cyclic.