So my Grandmother finally gave it up and passed away yesterday at noon. Yay!!! Although now I have to travel sometimes next month with my mother to Minnesnota to intern her ashes in the family plot. I so don’t want to go & I’m sure as hell not paying for it! Ha! But my mother wants me by her side and since I’m such a key point of her support I’m going just for that.
Those of you who may feel I’m being disrespectful to my Grandmother should know that she was quite the Narcissist (where I get it from no doubt lol) but she really had no caring nor responsibility for how this hurt those around her. She was a horrible mother. I, at least, TRY to limit the damage my own selfishness & desires to be “me” might bring about for my kids & some say I do a pretty good job. But my wonderful Mother deserved a better Mother and not one who pretty much secretly hated her throughout her life. So, no.. I’m NOT sad she’s gone.
And the evil in me is looking forward to the Chaos her death is going to create amongst those expecting parts of the estate. lol… I, obviously, am getting nothing being a child of the disliked oldest daughter who never bothered to even pretend I liked her at all.
And in other news… my cousin is undergoing Kidney Transplant Surgery next week. Fingers crossed it all goes well. He had no idea all his life he only had one kidney until it started to go bad. But turns out his neighbor is a perfect match so they’re giving it a go Tuesday.
Work is progressing well toward PPV and I’m hoping to have it up by the end of April. Then I’m hoping it is successful and takes my mothers business into THIS century! Although these days the goal is to make my salary & expenses every month! Feeding three teens is expensive! Doctor bills, prescriptions, SHOES!, dental, now the middle one needs glasses & the oldest toe surgery, passports for the cursed Alaska trip, driving school for the learner’s permit for the 15 year old… and the Ex pays me not a DIME of child support and bitches that he cannot afford $30 for a notary for the passports.
Last week, Luke got into a fist fight at school.. let me rephrase that… Luke got the shit beaten out of him at school because he arrogantly called another kid a moron. The school is handling it, well, I might add. Luke tells quite the one sided story. I’ve had to point out his responsibility for assuming name calling was going to go without consequences. And the School’s version of what happened. He has a level of his father’s denial of personal responsibility. I’m using it all as a teaching moment. I’ve got to. If he doesn’t lose his father’s “I hate stupid people” attitude he’s going to be as successful as HE is and blame others for it just like the Ex does. Plus I’m hoping I might be able to springboard him into learning to love himself and out-logic the negative thoughts when they come up. Or he’ll be on anti-depressants forever.
Speaking of negative thoughts. My body is moving into a new phase of menopause. I think its finally done with menstrual cycles. Yay! I hope… they say you never realize its your last until a year of not having any. But I’d settle for the occasional one every few months rather than every three weeks that I’ve been dealing with for the last 5 years. But this new phase also brought on some extra moodiness and almost a break from my libido. Didn’t help that I’d forgotten my over-the-counter Estrogen pills for several weeks. So I kind of went into Girlfriend Mode on Sex God and got pissy and whiny about his lack of attention. It came to a head last night and we sat down and had a serious discussion about my needs and his ability to meet them. Its his surf season and twice now he’d canceled plans with me because he’d used up all his energy surfing and working. And while I don’t want to take his bliss away he agreed he could make more of an effort to see me since I cannot go see him as much since the Ex refuses to take his share of custody.
But its 12 days until Coachella and then me & my Sex God will get a week to repair our relationship. I t
old him, “It will either make it all better or we’ll get sick of each other by the end of it.” He just looked at me and laughed and I laughed back. I don’t think there would be any amount of time that would make me get sick of him and amazingly its the same for him. We’re just too aligned for that. What my friend Carmen calls “Evenly Yoked” as a couple.
Tongue God is coming with us to Coachella to help me do turning 50 the right way! Heather style!
So much other things have happened but they deserve their own blogs. I’ll get to them, I swear! I hope.. sigh! lol