Flirting is my nature

Posted on October 14, 2011 by Heather

Mmmm Nathan Filian

I finally made it to the bank to officially change my name back to the maiden one.  While waiting I noticed a young man (ok.. maybe in his early 30’s) bring his bike into the bank.  He politely asked if he could leave it there while he went to the teller.  My bank (US Bank) rocks & they easily said, “Of course.”

Soon after that, I went in line to use the teller.  (Paycheck deposit.)  And I’m talking to her with my usual joking humor.  She’s grinning and we’re chatting.  Something tugs at the corner of my eye.  I look to my right to catch the cute young man staring at me.  With a grin I give him a once over & glance away.  Finishing my transaction I do my usual Cat hip-sway walk back to the Customer Service agent.

While waiting for customer service to finish with me, I see the Cutie fumble (a suspiciously long time) with his helmet and finally wheel his bike out the door.  I, of course, assess his frame as he leaves the bank with a running dialogue in my head.

Tall… but very nice broad shoulders.  

His waist is so tiny in comparison.

Yea, but imagine how easy that little ass is to straddle.  You’ll last a lot longer on top if you aren’t getting a cramp trying to work leg muscles stretched too far!

True, but with an ass that small I can never get a good smack in.  Such a little target, I usually miss.  Just like Sex God’s tiny ass.

True, unless he’s lying on his stomach… then its such a sexy ass.

I wonder if that’s true for all small assed men?

You should do a survey!

Ha

No matter how busy I get… with work, kids, life, etc…  at heart I’m a flirty slut.  I often go sooo wrapped up in all that other stuff I forget this part of me.  And I’m happiest when I’m reveling in my Slutdom.  Walking the walk, shooting the looks and seducing men.

Plus my Slut-Walk is fabulous for my posture!

Posted in Naughty Stuff | Comments Off on Flirting is my nature

How to win as a RockaHolic on 98.7 (Part One)

Posted on October 10, 2011 by Heather

Those who know me, know I win contests from the best station in Los Angeles, 98.7.  Its a very nice, mostly Alt-Rock station that has a wonderful system of rewarding its listeners.  One example is its Rockaholics Rewards program.   And its through this system that I’ve won so many concerts.  Is it complicated.. no.  But did take a bit of learning to get it maxed… yes.   And so this blog, in the interest of sharing my technique.  (After all I LOVE to share!)  Plus once its on paper I can just pass people the link!  Efficiency!!!

First off.. you really need to be listening to the station.  I promise you its worth it.  ALL music in the morning, no talk, and they are very supportive of local Indy bands.  I tend to get irritated only a little on the flash-back lunch because I prefer newer songs.  But they have a nice Facebook page (987FM) and they LISTEN when you write on the wall.  (Gotta love interns!)

The next thing you have to do is go to their website.   www.987fm.com.  Then click on the Winning to get to the Rockaholics Annonymous page.  It is there you’ll register as a Rockaholic.  This step is necessary to earn the  free points.  Free points are what you use to enter contests.  Worth it.

Once you’ve registered, here’s the best way to get the points.

Starting at the top  is the “Listen & Win” sections.  Four times a day they announce the name of a Rockaholic & you enter it here.  The 8:50 am one is the easiest to try and understand!  Cuz they repeat the name!  It can be difficult to figure out the spelling but the system usually only needs the firsst name & the 1,000 points are worth it.  Sometimes they’ll post it on the FB page if its REALLY unintelligible.

Once a week there are 3-5 survey questions which are easy & worth the time to answer them.  You can sometimes COMPLETELY guess the demographic participating just by the percentages in each answer.  But since this station is owned by a company that also owns MyFM and KIIS.. sometimes I think they may have similar questions! lol

Next up is Bonus Codes.   For these you have to sign up for a little extra step.  There are two weekly Bonus Codes.  One is emailed to you along with the special announcements they want to inform you about.  At the end of the email is the code you enter.  The other Bonus Code is Rate The Rock where you’ll get an email to go the Rate The Rock site & vote for about 15 songs.  Its a wonderful way to ask your station to STOP over-playing a song or play more of your current favorite.  Plus the Rate The Rock is a weekly 1,000 points.  🙂

Next up is the Trivia section.   This can be a bit trickier.  Most of them only give you one try to get it right.  And some are designed to get you to click on another area.  For instance, Rock Music Video hopes you’ll check out the video the question is about.  But I usually guess and I’m right about 50% of the time.  The Games & Cards question lets you guess several times & there’s a link to the games if you really need to learn the answer.  But most of the answers are either numbers or colors so you can repeatedly try without having to check out the actual game.  Although they give you points for playing, so if you play games at other sites you might try these games cuz HERE you can use your points to win concerts.

One point about the Trivia… there is one in that category called Sleuth Trivia.  To find the answer to that you need to go to the Get Points page, go to the last page of that section and start clicking on each prize.  Not only do you get a chance to enter the new prizes at this point, but at the bottom of each prize might hold the Sleuth Trivia Figure.  Clicking on it will get you the code word to enter in.  Worth the 500 points to get to.  Because often there are new prizes you want to enter for.  Start on the last on  on the last page, cuz its usually there! 🙂

The next points acquiring category is the Featured Links.  These are extremely easy points to get and with just a click on each can earn you 10,000 points a day.  30,000 during the Christmas holidays! lol.  This is where advertisers put mini commercials.  I tend to click on them and while its downloading, click away and read my FB page.  hee hee hee.   But I’m REALLY good at multi-tasking.  (Although I think I’m wearing out my left click button!)

I’d ignore most of the other ways to Get Points.  But I’d make sure I was a FB friend of 98.7 because sometimes they post special contests to win.

My secret is Sex God & Eithne both registered at my encouragement, but neither of them remember to enter points NOR contests.  I rolled my eyes and began to do it for them.  After all … if either of them win, they’ll take me so its works out.  And that way THEY get to guess all the trivia and by the time I’m guessing I know all the correct answers!

Quite often my morning comment is, “My, my Sex God is truly SUCKING at trivia today!”

 

Posted in Narcissist Secrets | Comments Off on How to win as a RockaHolic on 98.7 (Part One)

The day of “test Heather” !

Posted on October 7, 2011 by Heather

Yesterday was challenging.

First off, my friend Cindy showed up at the gym.. hadn’t seen her in forever!  So we ended up chatting a little too much and suddenly I was late leaving!  To be on-time to get home & get the boys to school I had to skip makeup AND drying my hair.  Frizz-city.. yea.  Luckily my hair is so thick it also holds water like a bucket!  So  it was still  pretty damp by the time I got to work.

And I had to leave work early to pick up my middle son who got out early that day and then after run to the replicators & pick up 17 boxes of finished DVDs. (My Corolla can hold 2000 DVDs!  Love that car!)  And do ALL that and get back by 3:15 to pick up the other two children.

During my day I get a call from Conor’s teacher helper that he’s not been going to his extra writing class (my 4th grader’s penmanship looks like a kindergartner!)  This is the second call AFTER a parent/teacher meeting.  Conor claims he forgets.  The TA says the other students report he refuses to leave.  I’m ready to spank his little white ass to get some cooperation!  (A strategy I now have to change…)

THEN I get a call from the counselor at Evan’s middle school.  (Evan participated in a weekly class to help with his writing… 1st one the day before.)  And he wrote “I want to destroy this school.”  So, of course, the counselor is concerned.  *Eye Roll*  I explain Evan is my semi-lazy, shy, previously bullied boy.  He’s venting the fact he doesn’t want to do work when its  hard & he gets stubborn about it.  I explain about my son to this counselor & he explains that Evan is currently failing ALL his classes except gym.  (Really??  My portly boy ISN’T failing GYM!! Hahaha!)   But the good news is they just started a tutoring program with UCLA students on Saturdays.  I’m all… sign him up!!  I’ll work on what I can with him at home.

After all that, I pick up my oldest and on the drive home I get a call from my oldest’s counselor on the drive.  This is the mental health service he qualifies for due to his depression & high anxiety.  Apparently my drama-prone son related to the counselor that I’m too strict with the youngest and punish him with a spanking with a ruler.   Which is true, but I’ve only had to do it maybe 15 times in the last 5 years!  Follow through once and the threat of it is usually enough.

Turns out there is an actual law regulating corporal punishment on your kid so the therapist had to report me to social services… who, of course, had to send police to my house to investigate.   The preferred method is your hand so you won’t go too far… making it all very personal and less a consequence… and I’m now incensed enough to argue THAT in a courtroom!

So I sit down with my kids and lay out the worst case scenario… cuz frankly its been a BITCH of a day due to them.  I explain that its possible the court could deem me unfit over this and give their father sole custody.  (You should have seen the horror over that.. hilarious!)   Which means I’d have to get a lawyer & fight them over that.  Which means I’ll be extra stressed so the LAST thing I’ll need is added stress from calls from school saying Conor isn’t attending the writing class & Evan is failing middle school!  (I will work ANYTHING to my advantage!)

Luke and I have a long talk over the consequences in being over-dramatic and the fact he may remember something that happened a long time ago but he’d better ALSO start weighing it against the frequency & what changes may have occurred since.  I also introduced him to the concept that these tendencies are part of who he is and he cannot eliminate them but CAN limit the negative outcomes with a little extra thought & awareness.  Something he’ll have to practice.  I just hope the future practice doesn’t have results like today’s!

Conor adds to the lovely insane day by running about & ripping a toenail.  Now he’s bleeding & complaining his leg hurts.  REALLY, BOY!!  Do you have it in for me!  A band-aid & a reminder that TODAY isn’t the best day to put himself into situations of bodily harm!

So dinner gets cooked, chores get done, homework gets finished & the boys are on their best behavior.  I’m cleaning out my fridge cuz I keep smelling a smell and it helps me feel more control over my out-of-control life to bury myself in work!  I send the kids off to bed around 8ish with reassurances of what really is most likely going to happen.  The police will come, look at Conor, social services will interview me and everyone will get reassured that I’m not beating the boy with a ruler.  After all, it only takes one smack once in a blue moon to remind him to stay in control  of his temper.

By 8 pm I can barely keep my eyes open.  I’m flooded with a wave of exhaustion.  I’m trying to do more work, but my brain keeps falling asleep!  I’m ready to throw in the towel & go to bed but when I hit the bathroom….   what greets me?!  Pain when I pee & blood in my urine.   OMG… you kidding me fate!!

I’m now downing water like crazy…  chasing the 2 cranberry pills & Motrin I take… worried over this whole thing.  Is this the same UTI that my body just isn’t conquering?   Is this a new UTI?   There’s been no sex, I’m on my period, is this a symptom of something worse.. like Bladder Cancer?   Oh and a little warning would be nice, body, since I just had a huge sugary desert!  The pain I can deal with, the fever symptoms no problem cuz all I really want to do ANYWAY is cuddle up in my warm bed & sleep.   But with the water I”m drinking I’m peeing every 10 minutes!  Who gets to sleep through THAT!  I should buy depends!

At 9:30 pm I’m huddled under covers wishing I could sleep when I hear a knock on the door.  Oh yea.. I totally forgot the police were coming.  I go downstairs, smartly ask who it is and get reassured it IS them.  So two cute cops come into my house & I explain the situation.  They look around and say,  “You moving?”

Oh yea.. did I mention the contractor had started work in refinishing the garage & ALL my garage shit was all over my house in boxes!?!  Adding to the lovely chaos that is currently my life.  And the kids keep clamoring  “Let’s hang the Halloween decorations!”  I”m like…. WHERE?!

They ask to see the ruler.  Not Conor, mind you, who is asleep.  I said to them, “I’ve been expecting you… although I’d hoped you’d be hear closer to 7 when he’s awake!  I’ll wake him if you need to inspect him.”  I take them upstairs to where I keep the a ruler, and its really just a paint stir.   You should have seen the cute cop’s face.  I could have giggled.  He’s trying really hard not to roll his eyes!

So at this point they’re all, thanks for you time, we just had to check it out.  Luke opens his bedroom door to apologize for causing it all and they’re reassuring him, “Its all good, buddy.”   And they’re down the stair and out the door.

By now Luke has a new worry…  “They had to take time out of their busy day to come here.. all because of me… I wasted their time.”   Goody… welcome to my life with a boy with high anxiety.  Lots of reassurance and “lets focus on the learned lesson” words.

Evan pops out of his room with a big grin on his face, “Does this mean we won’t have to live with Dad until we’re 18?!”

Yup… stuck with me.   Forever, boy, forever.

 

 

Posted in What's twirling my skirt now | Comments Off on The day of “test Heather” !

Starting off the Holiday Season RIGHT

Posted on October 5, 2011 by Heather

I have a suspense file.  That is a file which holds monthly folders where I put things I have to deal with in that month.  Other people call it other things, but I call it my suspense file.. cuz I have to suspend working on it until this moment.

So at the beginning of the month I pull that months stuff.  In my October file I found a paper telling me to set up a moment in November to go with my Mom to buy the ingredients for Fruitcake.  Yea… our schedules are so busy we have to set up a November appointment in October!  lol

But the note DOES herald the beginning of my end of year tasks.   Decorate the house for Halloween.  Arrange for Fruitcake weekend.   Go to ABM Conference.  Thanksgiving.  Send out another mailing/email blasts.  Resort expenses for Royalty payments at work.  Pay Royalties.  Pull P&L statements.  Prep for end of year sales taxes.  Ready the businesses for Income Taxes.

Oh.. and Christmas.  Sheesh… don’t forget Christmas!

So you see my Planner Brain as it lays out my tasks ahead.   But another part of me mentioned something I had completely forgot.

I still have 3 fruitcakes in my fridge.  My share from helping Mom make last years batch.   🙂

So, of course….   I HAVE to eat them!

After all, in just over a month I’ll have 4 more!

Needless to say, Evan is in Heaven..  Cuz he LOVES Grandma’s Fruitcake.

Wait until he finds out, this weekend, that Sex God loves Fruitcake even more than he does!

Posted in Just Ramblings | Comments Off on Starting off the Holiday Season RIGHT

Online Dating Tips for Men. Part 1- Pictures

Posted on October 3, 2011 by Heather

I’ve been online dating now for 2 years and I’ve learned A LOT from the experience.  So I decided to write a series of helpful tips.  One thing that I’ve learned is that most men don’t know anything about how to maximize this process to their advantage.  And the largest key they neglect is the photo.

Some people obviously took an old photo, scanned it and posted it.  Some men going so far as to crop out of the shot that girlfriend/wife/kid or whoever was with them.  This is a HUGE no-no.  ALWAYS show you’re serious about dating (even sex site dating) by putting in the effort to take new photo.

My 1st view of Sex God

And some photos were so perfect I really doubted it wasn’t stolen.  Some people took only face shots with no body shots while others did the opposite refusing to show you their face unless you asked.  And then there were the exhibitionists who gave you so many naked shots and it still wasn’t enough to them.  They had to upload video!  But most men just cannot manage to take a good picture of themselves.  See example one….   total 40 year old Geek.

Now, true I was on a “casual relationship” site and NOT on a “looking for love” site but that’s where most men will go for online dating.  At least at first. lol.  Because men enjoy dating for sex but not so much dating for relationships.  Lets be honest about that.  If  a man is on another site.. he’s probably working the numbers because more women are on the “dating for relationships” sites.

So as I viewed profiles I saw what worked and what didn’t.  I believe the rule of three comes in nicely here.  You want at least two face shots which show very different expressions, i.e. sides, of your personality.  And you want at least one good body shot.  If you give a woman or man at least two different “looks” (sultry siren or brooding bad boy and laughing smiling you) then if one picture doesn’t appeal to his or her libido perhaps the other picture might.  So to compete.. MINIMUM of 3 pictures.

You can freely put up more and make them as revealing as you want.  Or you can post body shots without a face shot saving those face shots for inclusion with an email.  This is a personal decision based on how comfortable you are posting pictures of yourself on the internet.  But if you do not have pictures on your profile you need to include them with your emails.   Chemistry begins with a visual and all the eloquent words in the world will not get a sparking connection without one.  Plus if you cannot include a picture the other party may wonder why and just turn you down because of that.  Don’t shoot yourself in the foot before you get out the gate

(Although, note to men.  A woman only needs ONE shot of your erection, should you feel the need to advertise it.  Not three and certainly not six!  Yet, ladies, to be fair to these men… there are many women on sex sites where size IS their criteria and many men have been asked by women to provide a shot of their erection.  The funniest one I saw was taken next to a vhs tape to provide size perspective.  Apparently he didn’t think we could judge that if he took the shot wide enough to include his body!)

Now almost every newer computer these days comes with a camera function.  And most of those cameras are pretty good!  The beauty of using them is you get to view your expression before you take the shot, not after.  You can adjust the lighting, fix your hair, and stand in just the right way to get maximum results out of your full body pix.

If for some reason you manage to have a computer that doesn’t have a camera most people resort to the camera phone in the bathroom.  This shot can be tricky because of the flash.  Although I’ve seen people use the flash to strategically hide their face if they want that identity kept secret.  The bathroom shot is probably most used to show off a little skin.  Limit this, both the skin shots and using the bathroom as your photo studio.  No one comes across as anything but cheap when ALL their pictures are old shots or bathroom shots.  Take the time to enlist a friend to take some shots of you.  Hell, if you can’t ask a friend go outside and ask a stranger!

Make these shots as candid as possible.   In today’s digital world you can take shot after shot with no expense to you.  And most computer programs come up with wonderful editing programs allowing you to crop and take out any red eye issues.   Use the following hints to get the best photo you can.

Sex God’s sexy look

One:  Practice your looks in your bathroom mirror before you get anywhere near a camera.  Get drunk if you have to.  But you know you have a sexy and seductive look inside you and you need to bring that out.  Try this.  Just think about how much you enjoy sex, let your eyes get a little sleepy by closing them just a little and smile like you’re holding in a delicious thought as a secret.  That is the look anyone can use to project clear interest in the opposite sex.  If you can get a shot of it on film people will be enticed by it.

Two:  While in the mirror see which works best for you:  chin tilted up or down; head pointed straight or slightly left or right; straight on body shot to show off curves or more of a side shot to minimize yourself.

Three:  Glasses or contacts? Clean shaved or beard or a little shadow? Hair up or down or in a hat?  The answer to all these questions is YES!  All the above.  Give as many variations as possible.  If you wear glasses, but only sometimes, include a shot of you in them.  They may find that attractive.  And the goal here is to hit them with at least one picture that sparks interest.   You MUST stop any automatic “no” as quickly as possible and getting her libido to say, “hold on…I kinda like that” will do the job perfectly.

Four:  Try taking your picture in indirect lighting.  Not in direct sunlight but not in total shade either.  And take it outdoors.  Most of us look better in natural lighting and unless you’re standing under a skylight, this means get out of your house, apartment and bathroom.  But watch your backdrop.  Don’t go to some place so busy you’re holding up pedestrian traffic to get that shot of you on the pier.  And don’t go someplace obviously just a plain wall.  Greenery is always nice but not necessary.  And make yourself the center of the shot.. don’t pull out a vacation shot where you’re minuscule next to a monument.

Five:  Wardrobe is important.  Do NOT wear clothing that over conceals your body.  No downy, snow jackets.  No flowing dresses that leave you shapeless.  No hats or sunglasses that cover your face.  Well, maybe sunglasses in one face shot would be acceptable.   They can be very useful in pulling off that sexy look, but you’re better off trying to get that shot without them.  And it’s not hard to take a change of clothing to a location for pictures taking.  For guys a different shirt or two and a stylish jacket.  For women hose and a dress often go easily over jeans for a quick public change.  (Don’t be shy… no one KNOWS you & bras are really just bikini tops!)  And make sure the colors of your shirts really work for you.  Make a note of all the pictures of you that you felt were terrible…is there a pattern in the color shirt you were wearing?  Same goes for the pictures you liked.

Six:  You can get artistic in the cropping of a picture but don’t go overboard.  I saw a very interestingly cropped picture of about three-quarters of a man’s face.  It gave him a very intriguing look.  On the flip side, a woman had cropped pictures of her body to look very tantalizing and then admitted she’d gained “a few pounds” since those pictures were taken.  Crop to your advantage but be honest about it.  No one likes to go to effort and then feel they’d been lied to.

Even with a goofball smile this says a lot about this man

Seven:  Make sure these are the best shots you can get of your personality.  You don’t need something professionally done but you do need to put a little effort into it.  These are the visual props needed to appeal to the hind-brain of the opposite sex.  The connection to that animal attraction, you can call it.  If they aren’t somewhat flattering, you won’t get emails.  Its okay if they don’t look as good as you do in person, but they shouldn’t look a lot worse than who you are in person.  And never, ever post what looks like a professional prom head shot.  Trust me on this, just don’t.

And Eight:  Be honest about yourself and with yourself.  If you’re a Big, Beautiful Woman you should have pictures that show yourself to your best advantage but don’t hide it.  There are men out there that love the BBW and are actively looking for YOU, especially if you’ve accepted it and love it.  If you’re a man who’s carrying a little (or a lot) of weight don’t post a picture of when you weren’t.   A recent picture is more honest and you’ll have a better response when you actually meet that person.

Next up… the dreaded first approach or email.

Posted in Tales From The Sexual Front | Comments Off on Online Dating Tips for Men. Part 1- Pictures

Throwing my Kids TV out the Window

Posted on September 29, 2011 by Heather

Ok..so I didn’t actually THROW it out the window.  What I did (and I’ve been threatening to do this for months now) was cut my cable service back to basic.  Cuz.. well, I only watch the basic… with a few exceptions.  (Exceptions whose episodes I can probably watch online.)

Because OMG.. my cable/internet was up to over $120.00 a month.  Last year when I threatened to do this they gave me a discount of almost 50% off the cable.  This year they offered $15.  So I went.. noooo thank you.  Bumped it down to Basic local channels with one DVR & receiver.  Which means I have to send the other one back… no problem.. I only really need one.   (FOR ME!  Muahahahaha.)   This will bring my bill down to $75 cable &  internet together.

And why do I say I’m throwing t.v. watching for my kids out the window?  Cuz this new package will NOT include any of the kids regular channels that they watch.  Yup… no more shows on demand or iCarly, or SpongeBob or whatever other crazy BS those kids are watching out of Nick, Toon or Disney channels.  Cuz those channels are no longer on my system.  (I may hear some complaining over Pokemon Black & White.. but they’ll get over it.)

Oh stop gasping in shock!  lol..   What I HAVE done is up my internet speed for an extra $3 a month and hooked up a computer to my t.v. screen.   So they can go online and watch whatever episode their little hearts desire.   If they can stop playing PS3 long enough that is!  Ha!

This allows me to still multi-task by watching recorded local shows while I work on my computer.  Because I’ve found while I also can watch show on the internet.. its really difficult to work on the same computer while doing it! Ha!  So  until I get the same set up, upstairs in my bedroom, I’m going to let the kids adjust to using the computer to watch t.v. while I adjust to just the basic.

Hopefully if all goes well, we’ll all survive the change and save a little money in the process.  Enough money to buy a larger t.v. for the downstairs & move that nice flat screen upstairs to my bedroom!   🙂

 

Posted in Just Ramblings | Comments Off on Throwing my Kids TV out the Window

My 30 year High School Reunion

Posted on September 26, 2011 by Heather

Last month I went to my 30 year high school reunion.  I was supposed to go to the cocktail party before it, even paid for it, but Sex God was late to come over and watch my kids while I popped out.. and so I just spent the night with him instead.  (He needed it… work has been treating him like shit)

Because of that I probably missed the one person I wanted to see. lol..  my best friend from middle school (or Junior High as we called it back then).  We live in cities right next to each other, but never manage to connect!  I am undaunted!

Anyway…    (high school colors of blue..  represented in toenails, hee hee)

So Sex God bailed on me for the Reunion… whole other story.   But it taught me one thing.  The kids are old enough to be left alone for a couple of hours without burning the house down.  lol..  After all , all they did was play video games!  Either way, I wasn’t going to miss my 30 year reunion just because my babysitter changed his mind about seeing me.  So I left the little buggers home alone together for the first time and went. (turns out there ISN’T a law on this 🙂  ) And they were fine.

I get there right on time to Castaways in Burbank and park at the shuttle stop.  And right off see my first kiss.  He’s also a FB friend so while I greet him with a hug.. he knows more about ME than most of my high school friends, just from having access to the blog! lol.  Plus he’s happily married so after a friendly hug & quick conversation on the shuttle we part ways.

Standing in line for an incredibly overpriced drink I realize the futility of recognizing anyone. lol.   See I wasn’t popular in high school.  I wasn’t a member of any clubs or groups in high school.  I wasn’t social in high school.  I didn’t date at all.  (I know.. the pendulum swung alot just before I graduated and then completely once in college. lol)  The few people who I knew were barely acquaintences.

On the  plus side.. I don’t have a problem meeting strangers.  But on the negative side a lot of people were engaged in conversations of “wow.. remember when we did this!”  And I didn’t want to intrude.  Although early on in a conversation with a woman we both realized we were single, happy to be that way and not really monogamous about it AND Cougars. lol.   Although we did have different types of Cubs we enjoyed.   Which is a GOOD thing. hee hee hee.

So we bonded a bit and I had someone to stand and talk to and sit with at dinner.  Which was very nice up until I realized she WAS a popular girl in high school.  So there was a lot of people who she was socializing with.  And I felt I was intruding a bit.

At one point I was sitting at the dinner table (watching purses) bored out of my mind and found myself just watching those around me as if they were t.v.  I realized I was RIGHT BACK in high school.  THIS was exactly how I went through those 3 years.   Observing others socially interacting waiting for participation but not pursuing it.   My interests lay elsewhere… but I was here so I was just killing time observing… just like in high school.

Oh, Screw This I thought!  And as much as I hated the 80’s music the DJ was spinning I got up and danced.  The dance floor was pretty much all women & we had fun.  I danced for a long as my knees could take it and my tolerance of Prince & Michael Jackson tunes could stand.

Then I scooted off for some water.  I chatted a bit with my first kiss mostly about kids & relationships.  He admitted he often hids my FB postings.  I told him I’m fine if he deleted me.. so many do!  But felt complimented that he refused even though he hides most of my comments & postings… well, AFTER he’s read them. lol

By then it was almost 9:30 and I was bored with the reunion.   I exchanged number with my new Cougar friend, said goodbye to the few I knew that I could find and bailed.  It was fun… not as fun as I imagined.  Because all the men there were my age and/or married and/or NOT interesting to me.   I look at my young lovers in their early 40’s or 30’s or 20’s and just smile at the 48 year olds at the reunion.

Just like with my music…  I can’t walk in the past when the present and future is sooo incredibly delicious!

 

Posted in Just Ramblings | Comments Off on My 30 year High School Reunion

The UTI Conundrum

Posted on September 23, 2011 by Heather

I’m one of the rare few women who squirt.  Yes, its an actual thing.  And no its not peeing.   Trust me… Cuz I used to believe the exact same thing, until I did it myself.  And then watched a Current TV special on it.  They analyzed it and its definitely not urine.  Hell,  its one of the very reasons I ALWAYS pee before sex!

But I’ve posted on this particular susceptibility to the men who know HOW to make a woman squirt before.  Trust me again… not every man can and not every man can on me who can on others.  It’s truly a tricky thing involving a hard & fast finger on that special spot in the vagina that induces it.  If I could teach  it, I would.. but I think its a “practice thing” that might be best left to couples.

But one thing I’ve noticed about MYSELF is that I’m also susceptible to Urinary Tract Infections (UTI).  I thought maybe it was only a summer thing.  You know… it gets hot, I eat ice cream, I gain 5 lbs, my shorts fit too tight & BAM… UTI.   But having JUST got over one last month, I could feel my body starting down that road again a few days ago.  Last month when I felt the symptoms (peeing a lot & it burns when you pee…then the fever.. then feeling like you have to go and barely anything comes out & it hurts bad, then peeing blood, then not being able to control the urge to pee every 10 minutes.. horrid.)  If you’ve had it to this stage you know how bad it is.. but if you’ve never had it.. watch for those first symptoms.

When my body starts down this road, I’m immediately wanting to get to a doctor to get my antibiotic so I’m not incapacitated by this.  My brain is screaming.. “Be Efficient & take care of this!!”  Cuz I gotta work & raise 3 kids, I can’t be down & chained to a toilet.   But I’m uninsured.  So last month, I hesitated & asked my friends if there was an over-the-counter remedy.  I was given a lot of advice, but within 20 minutes of receiving it I was already peeing blood.  Too far to risk the herbal choice.  Down to Urgent Care I went & the cost was only $300.  About a month’s premium of health insurance should I have had it.. so I felt I was ahead. lol

Then Monday I felt the symptoms again.  And I got frustrated!  I’ ha stopped eating ice cream, lost the 5 (ok.. 4! sheesh!) lbs & switched to the looser shorts.  I shouldn’t be getting another UTI!!  Aahhh.. but two things were different this time.   One… my Saturday night lover made me squirt.. A LOT.  And Two.. I caught it early enough to try the herbal remedy.

A note on the squirting… it’s both pleasurable and painful.  It sucks as a lube since its the consistency of pee or water.  It can soak your bed, dammit!!!  (or your carpet.. depending on where its done.. [shackled to a doorway] Hey!  Don’t judge me!  His carpet, so who cares.)  But, I think it uses the same “delivery system” as your urinary tract.. and it just might open you up to infections.

A note on the herbal remedy track….  OMG, I’m so surprised, but it worked.  At my first, slightly strained, slightly painful pee.. I ran out & got cranberry pills.  I knew to give up sugar for the day, but didn’t realize I also had to give up coffee until after I’d had a few sips.. Sigh.  I spent the day downing a glass almost every 30 minutes & avoiding sugar.  I took Aspirin/Motrin to stave off the low-grade fever & painful peeing and waited to see if this would work.  Knowing I had Urgent Care up my sleeve if necessary.  And it worked!!  After 18 hours I felt 100%.  Shocking.  But saved me $300.00 and I feel great about NOT going down the antibiotic road.  That shit fucks up my shit!  Literally.  Its why I’ve now added Probiotic pills to my cocktail, dammit.

So.. what we have learned:

We learned that herbal remedies actually do work.   And…

We learned that if your lover is going to try to get you to squirt he should wash thoroughly.. like a surgeon (!)… up to his elbows.

 

 

Posted in Naughty Stuff | Comments Off on The UTI Conundrum

Lookee here..’s what’s wrong with America!

Posted on September 21, 2011 by Heather

So I met a wonderful man this weekend.  Only 4 years younger but thoroughly enjoying life just like me.  Fan of Muse (point) AND 98.7 (Point!) has all boys (point) NOT a stitch of fat on his body (point) lol.. and an intensely engaging personality (point!)  Oh, but the best part!  Finds me wonderfully humorous, incredibly sexy and a joy to spend time with. (um, duh… point, point!)

We covered a lot of fun ground.  And I got so involved in talking with an enthusiastic

In & Out Beverly Hills!

audience we chatted for over 2 hours.  Made me late… to getting stood up!  hahaha..  (but his excuse was surfing.. and well, I ALWAYS forgive a man who surfs!)

When I told Mr. Engaging  about my parenting strategies.. chore sticks, outsourcing my work to them, adults-in-training philosophy.. he just looks at me with his jaw dropped… “Brilliant!”  His kids are younger than mine & he’s seeing all the possibilities of adopting my ideas.  (umm.. egotistical point.. hee hee hee)

One of the things we discussed was  Solar.  Turns out he’s in the industry and I was spouting about that before I knew that piece of information and he clarified one thing that was always baffling to me.  See, right now there are two solar options.  You can pay the money and put solar on your house & get your electricity for almost free.  Or you can let someone else put it on your house at no cost to you and you pay them a reduced rate for your electricity while they sell the excess back to the city.

Now for a long time I wondered, “Why the hell isn’t the electric company doing that itself!  Putting it on homes for free & selling electricity to us at half the costs!”  Why is there a middle man involved?  And T explained it to me with the perfect terminology.  So clear, I just had to share it!

Outsourcing.

Wait, wait.. keep reading!  See the electric companies don’t really know a lot about installing & maintaining solar.  They are big conglomerates who know about distributing power & well, answering to shareholders!  And when something is NOT (and this is the perfect phrase) a “Company’s Core Competency” it makes more financial sense to outsource it to a company where that competency lies.

I’m sitting there saying.. OMG.. that makes complete sense!  Plus not only does this middle company with the Core Competency  get the work.. it becomes a burgeoning industry that is creating jobs as it grows.   In that way, outsourcing is a wonderful boon.

When its done right.

So we talk more about various ways outsourcing has been terribly or perfectly used.  I do manage NOT to bring up the sitcom Outsourced!  Haha.

Then I explain to him my theory about how shareholders are what’s ruining our economy.  How if a company DIDN’T go public, if instead it focused its profits on building the business, making a quality product and trickling down the profits to the employees, society would be better off.  Once a company whore’s itself out to shareholders by going public.. it seems to become ALL about the bottom line, making profit any way it can.. because its beholden to its new pimp.. The Shareholders.  (And sadly WE are those pimps.)

THAT is how we create a system that hires CEO’s for HUGE salaries and DISGUSTING bonuses with their sole goal of bringing lots of profit to the Shareholders.  In any way they can.

And I point out my shining example of a successful company NOT going public.  In and Out Burger.   Hourly wage starts at $10 an hour and Managers get a percentage of sales.  I’ve heard there’s a lot of perks but judging from my In & Out its a great, clean place for teens to work.   They are family owned & let the profits trickle down to a GOOD, cheap burger from a quality establishment.

Plus I just love the concept of a burger “animal style” hee hee hee.

Posted in What's twirling my skirt now | Comments Off on Lookee here..’s what’s wrong with America!

Uniqueness… Or longing for a Hedonistic Sister

Posted on September 19, 2011 by Heather

I’ve always known I was different from other people.   Not obviously so in any way.  I wasn’t born with a missing or extra part (well, not unless you count my 3rd nipple hee hee).  I also don’t seem to have any glaring mental disabilities.  A touch of Asperger’s, a dash of Narcissism perhaps.. but nothing excessively obvious.  Just enough to put me into an “Odd Man Out” category.

And I was okay with that.  Because it’s all I’ve known.  It was, honestly,  just me.  And I liked me.  I liked me so much I was also okay with being alone.. in my head.. playing with my imagination.  I distinctly remember making the effort to play with friends in elementary school.  I seem to change “best friends” a lot through the years, going through almost every girl in my class.  Which wasn’t as many as you think.

(Back then the number of kids in a school was so small you’d have one grade per year with about 20 kids it in.  Nowadays you have four grades per year of 20 kids in it so every year they mix them & its a new group in your class.)

Yet, I also remember playing alone in the field near the backstop imagining a story & acting it out.  And be perfectly happy doing that day after day after day.   Friends were fun, but they weren’t the only fun.   (Amusingly, I watch all 3 of my kids do their own version  of this very thing…  Conor the most with his “Mom, I want my alone time” as he steps outside to run/dance back and forth in the front yard making constant sound effects…. yea.  The FRONT yard!)

That has been my philosophy most of my life.  I meet people and I’m myself and one of two things happens.  Either they adore my uniqueness & humor OR they don’t understand me at all.  I’m beyond their scope of normal/acceptable/knowable.  I’m not very bothered by it.  I treasure the ones who find me fun, entertaining & likable.  I just shrug at those who don’t.  It is literally their loss, because I believe I’m fun & Fate loves to use me to touch the lives of others.

It only irks me ever so slightly, because THEY taught me that God made me.  I’m sure he knew what he was doing. 🙂   And I’ll not change myself just to suit other’s ideas of “correct” behavior.

But sometimes I wish I could meet more people like me.  More people who had similar philosophies, beliefs, choices in life.  And it makes me realize completely the lure of religion.  Hell, if there was a Slut Church… I’d not only join, I’d get Ordained!

Its easy to find a similar connection with men, but oh so rare to find such a connection with women.  I seem to baffle most women the same way men get baffled BY them.  They cannot conceptualize being able to love someone & not want to marry them.  Monogamy is such a part of their makeup they can accept, but not embrace, the poly-amorous.

So there is this little part of me that wishes I could find a single or poly-amorously attached woman to be my Slut Sister.   Someone hedonistic like me to dish, gossip & play together with.  But even most Sluts get attached, fall in love, step out of Slutdom & explore society’s normalcy standards.

And I find myself standing alone, again, in the Slut Church, wishing for company.

Of course, there are many strong arms around me, cuddling me, caressing & whispering in my hair just how much they adore my Uniqueness.

So its not THAT bad! 😉

Posted in Just Ramblings | Comments Off on Uniqueness… Or longing for a Hedonistic Sister