I recently had a wonderful experience with a man who was a very selfless lover. It was both interesting and irritating at the same time. He was truly a “giver,” eager to bring out as many sighs, groans, & orgasms as possible from me. I realized somewhere in the middle of all of it that he was getting deep satisfaction from my satisfaction. And I knew exactly how he felt.
One of my favorite parts of sex is when the male climaxes. Sharing in his ultimate pleasure brings a certain joy to me. It’s the whipped cream (wink) and maraschino cherry on top of the glorious sex. Of course it was even more fun when this selfless lover climaxed and collapsed, practically passing out! So at my mercy.
But through all his lovely and wonderful attentions there was a part of me that would have preferred at least some of the time to feel him take his pleasure FROM me… not just give me pleasure. And there is a subtle difference there. When I realized my feelings I wondered at them, looked at it from all sides and what it said about me. I speculated my love of touching and tasting a man is me being a ‘giver of pleasure’ and my desire for a dominant male is me wanting a man to “take” his pleasure from me.
And if I hadn’t experienced such a wonderful evening with such a selfless lover would I ever have learned this about myself?
Of course the real fun will be in convincing him to try it my way, next time!