Heather Barton

Lewis Black is one of my favorite comedians.  It’s not just his statements.. its the vehement way he delivers certain lines.  Oh.. and his beautiful use of profanity!  Here are a few of the gems I heard him do on an old special from the Comedy channel.

Democrats are a party of NO ideas and Republicans are a party of bad ideas.  The only thing dummer than a Democrat or a Republican is when these PRICKS work together!  The Republican stands up and yells, “I got a really BAD idea!”   And the Democrat stands up and yells, “And I can make it shitier!”

*****

No one told us we had to drink water.  We got thirsty we went into the house and drank water.  But then they started bottling it and selling it to us idiots.  Now all of sudden everybody tells me I gotta drink 8 bottles a day!  Recently they been studying the effect of water on our system.  And we’re probably drinking too much.  I know this comes as a shock to you pansies who’ve bought into the whole 8 bottles crap.  You’ve been scarfing water down, yelling “Look at me! Look at me!  My PEE has no COLOR!”

*****

What IDIOT came up with the Homeland Security color coding system.  There should be three levels:  Jesus Christ!  GodDammit! and Fuck ME!

Of course he’s not as funny in type because you don’t get his excessively sarcastic tone!   So here’s a clip!

Lewis Black