Snap Judgments on Facebook… Ooo I better check my spelling!

So I’m enjoying reading the posts of my friends on FB and I leave a cute little comment here and there.  Mostly my opinion, sometimes naughty, but always meant to be funny.  And I comment on a friend’s posting where she says that all the college students around her are driving her nuts with their stress over finals so she’s going to get them back by interrupting them.  The first couple of comments are humorous and I add mine.. See below.   Its not an insulting comment.  It’s an opinion.

But apparently it was enough for one girl to go to my FB page.. find my blog page… and read… I guess no farther than the tag line, before she goes back to FB and slams an insult at me.  When I read it I was pretty sure her insult was aimed at me, even though she didn’t say that, but I actually had to DIG to figure out what the hell she was talking about.

And I’m looking at her comment trying to decide if I want to reply and what I’d say should I choose to do so.   After all, I’m NOT an unintelligent woman.  Yet, nor am I one to waste time trying to defend something as minor as spelling errors to those with OCD in THIS day and age of texting- word- shortening!   But I don’t like the feeling of another person assuming I’m cowering in hurt feelings by her nasty slash at me.

Amusingly…. a White Night or two came to my defense.

  • Heather Baffles the hell out of me why anyone would voluntarily go back to school! But I watch friends do it all the time.. crazy. about an hour ago ·
  • June Going back to school is this thing called “bettering yourself.” Commonly associated with gaining knowledge, mastering of skills, and personal growth through a variety of experiences. It also teaches things like the proper use of “its” and “it’s” in your blog subhead. JFYI  59 minutes ago ·
  • June Also, don’t blame the homework-riddled. They have enough to deal with. (On a bright note, it pays off: Adam is now officially a PhD candidate, and thus is getting the fuck out of Buffalo!)  57 minutes ago ·
  • Chris Wow that was mean. 56 minutes ago · · 1 person likes this.
  • June No, it was educated. People in Buffalo seem to confuse the two. 55 minutes ago ·
  • Eric Being mean and educated? Did you attend catholic school by chance?  53 minutes ago ·
  • Heather Thank you June.. this 48 year old has been “schooled by the educated” I feel so bettered. 52 minutes ago ·
  • Chris Excuse me for not bowing down before your greatness. I know it takes a lot of chutzpah to attack others’ use of grammar on the web. I’m from Buffalo, so why don’t you check out my blog and leave a nasty note pontificating about my lack of skills as well?50 minutes ago · · 1 person Liked this
  • June Hatfield nah

Needless to say I have a NEW friend on Facebook!  I look forward to reading Chris’s blog.  Always got to support a fellow blogger.  Especially when he writes such interesting erotica!

THEN the next day the original poster of the thread commented with June’s two blogs directly for Chris and me to “read and comment”.  Chris “declined to stoop to that level”  but I wrote that I “stooped and snooped and found a delicious spelling error.”  Muahahaha.  I did NOT post the error, nor comment on her blog OF her error as I didn’t feel the need to be mean.

But then she ASKED in the FB thread for the error and I happily pointed out that she spelled the name wrong of the musician she’s very taken with (I was less than impressed, but apparently June is a “hipster”.. we used to call them “beatniks” lol) in one of her blog postings.  And I can barely call them blog postings.  They are her musical opinions that she posts as one of several people posting on a joint blog.  And the other seems to be mostly recipes, videos, pictures.  There is  very little written posts like mine.

I kinda expected more from someone anal enough to criticize my spelling!  Haha!

Posted in Just Ramblings | Comments Off on Snap Judgments on Facebook… Ooo I better check my spelling!

Ahhhh.. Coachella

 

Chillin in the beer garden

2011 Coachella Music Festival was as lovely as 2010.  The wonder and surprised joy from 2010 wasn’t there because 2010 was my first experience AND my first long weekend with Sex God.  This time was just as great because there were MORE bands I wanted to hear, Sex God was again going with me, and additionally we partied with 2 Michael’s & a Freddie.

Now, now.. minds, OUT of the gutter.  I didn’t sleep with any of our additional friends, although LOTS of daring, dirty sex talk which is par normal for ANY conversation with me!  But I really didn’t want to make the vacation uncomfortable in any way.  Plus Mike is a family friend and Freddie has a girlfriend.  Michael (Big Mike) we’d just met as he carpooled and rented the pull out.

So I was in a condo with 4 men, 3 of them luscious Latino’s… my favorite flavor.  So yes, Sex God got worked!  If I’d been anywhere near my extreme horniness of ovulation, I would have seduced at least one other man that weekend.  But I digress.

 

Woodstock Style

I realized that there are several different ways to do Coachella.  You can do it like Woodstock, or a Pit Concert, or a Rave, or an Expensive Club.  Whichever way you want there is a venue for you.  Mike and Freddie spent MOST of their time in the DJ tent rocking out to a 3 day Rave of House Music!  The other Michael is 6’4″ and spent most of his time getting up as close to the stage as possible to max out his concert experience.  The few times I’ve tried to do that.. my poor little 5′ 1″ runs out of O2!  Plus I’m lucky if I can see the big screen much less the stage!

 

And we decorated the vehicle!

So Sex God and I spent more of our time doing Coachella Woodstock style.   NOT in the crowd but on the fringes of it.  Close enough to hear the music LOUD and see the screen, maybe a little of the stage and have the option of dancing with elbow room or sitting down & letting the music flow over us.  If it was on a special or favorite band we would worm our way close and get the crushed-concert-but-close-to-the-stage experience.

Which we did for this band… and Oh My GOD that was soooo worth it!

Mumford & Sons – Coachella 2011

And on the last day we got even closer for THIS band.. which was one of MY primary reason for going!!

Neon Trees Coachella 2011

 

The Gorgeous Desert Sunsets

For the rest we mostly Woodstocked it.  But I really enjoyed ALL these bands!  Take into account most of these clips are from people’s camera’s!  I love the quality of today’s tech!

For this band.. you REALLY need to be stoned!  lol..  cuz they only have 5 or 6 songs and 40 minutes to play!  So each song lasted FOREVER but had such a wonderful beat!

Foster the People Coachella 2011

 

Beautiful full moon every night!

And my new FAVORITE!   I can’t believe I MISSED them sing last year WITH Florence of Florence + the Machine.. was I HIGH!!

Cold War Kids @ Coachella 2011

And there’s always a nugget of gold in the bunch of new bands that play throughout the day.  This band is by far my favorite new find.  WONDERFUL in concert!  And THAT’s a difficult thing to find sometimes in a band.   Jack\’s Mannequin @ Coachella … can you see me in the crowd!  Hahahaha, I’m there but not visible on the clip!

This band was wonderful Woodstock style  Arcade Fire the balls were the size of exercize balls and they began to light up and synchronize!  Soo cool!

So all in all an incredibly wonderful time.   Renting the extra space in the condo made that part free for us.  And even through I couldn’t sell the camping spots to pay for the cost of the Festival Pass.. turns out I didn’t need to.  Cuz I WON the 987 Contest giving away Coachella Tix.  Yes!  I couldn’t believe it either when I saw it.  So I sold them and my vacation was only the cost of food and drink!

Now for next year… going to have to save a $1 a day! lol




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Mother’s Day

Contrived holidays are annoying.  I get the feeling they are ideally for those who are NOT dealing with the object of the contrivance on a daily basis.  In other words, if you’re estranged from your parent (or whoever) this little day gives you a chance to remedy the situation.

But to those who have children and are MOM every moment of the day, Mother’s Day is a day to receive the forced art your little monkeys did at school.  Now sometimes that is freakin ADORABLE!  But sometimes its just more annoying clutter you HAVE to keep.   (Now where do I put THIS!) Before I was a Mom, this contrived holiday meant one day to focus on my mother.  Now it’s celebrate her and then celebrate me… so its much more a job.  Like I said…. annoying.

And I work with my mother.  I talk to her almost every day, both on personal stuff and work stuff.   I keep her organized, I’m one of her sounding boards, I’m there for her just like she’s there for me.  So we don’t need a special day to express how much we appreciate each other.  So the conversation goes like this…

ME:   Mom, want me to come over on Sunday?  Do something for Mother’s Day?

MOM:  Um, well, actually I want to sit with my editor and see if we can hammer out the last hour of the DVD..  Get that DONE!

ME:  Sounds perfect!

Don’t get me wrong.  My mother was a fantastic Mom, which is kinda amazing considering HER mother sucked at the job.  So my mother ended up trying to mother herself and her 5 younger siblings.  Was she a perfect Mom?  No way.  We’re all flawed, its what makes us so unique.   But she loved uninhibitedly.  We were the pure beings who she could finally pour out all her love to.  And we thrived on it.  Not only that, all three of us emulated it for the most part.  We adore our kids and don’t hold back the affection.  Are we good disciplinarians?  Hell yes, cuz that’s part of the loving. Are we perfect parents?  Hell no cuz that’s not part of reality!

But I’ve always told my Mother that I KNEW I’d be a good mother  I just always knew it.  And on Mother’s Day, I tell her that’s because I had a great teacher at mothering.  My real pride is watching her Mother her students at USC.  Watching her Mother each patient she sees in her Pediatric practice, showing the new Mom’s how easy it can be.  I more than love my Mother, I admire her.


And ironically I don’t have my kids this weekend, this Mother’s Day weekend.  Will by ex prompt my boys to call me?  Well, he didn’t a month ago when it was my birthday!  So I hold out little hope they’ll remember its Mother’s Day and call me.

Am I sad about that?  Not really.  It’s just a day.   I know how much my children love me.  I get it every time I pick them up on my Friday.  Intense hugs and “I MISSED you, Mom!!” greet me.  And I get it every Thursday that they go back to their fathers’.   “Wow.. time at your house, Mom,  goes by twice as fast as at Dad’s!”

Of course, maybe what they are missing is less “ME” and more, my cooking, their own rooms, the comfort of the house they grew up in, and an active parent who makes them do homework and quizzes them on multiplication tables!

Well, maybe not that LAST part!

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Sexy Shower Scene with Cat & Bryce

Whenever I don’t have something good & dirty to post on a Friday.. I can always rely on an excerpt from Cat.  This is one of my favorite scenes of Cat and Bryce together.  Mmmmmm…. Bryce… so yummy is my fantasy man.

Although amusingly… I wrote this book BEFORE I was separated from my husband and knew about dating in the 21st Century!

Young men are such eye candy.

Caressing the dressing Derek along his naked back, I sauntered past him walking toward the kitchen.  I could see Samuel was trying to impress me as I peered at his cooking.  He was making French toast, sausage, and fresh fruit for breakfast.  Bryce was scrounging stuff to set on the table.   He watched me and I watched him back for a few minutes.  I moved the few steps toward him then turned around.

“Would you get the tie out of my hair, Bryce?  I seemed to have slept on it.”

Nothing happened for several heartbeats and then I felt his fingers on my hair.  He worked the tie and finally got it out and spent some time working out the few tangles.  The feel of his hands in my hair was delicious and I briefly indulged in the sensation.  Then he moved those strong fingers to my shoulders.  I shuddered as he caressed down my arms and felt myself pulled slightly back against his warmth.  Gathering my resolve and stuffing my unexpected surge of desire to a hidden place I turned around and stepped back to look up at him.

“Samuel, don’t hold breakfast for us while we’re in the shower and make sure there is some food left.”

I took Bryce’s hand and walked to the closet.  His pleased grin matched the gleam in his eyes as he followed me.  I took my jeans and a low cut shirt off their hangers and draped them over his arm.

“Why are you being so modest?” I heard him comment as I found a pair of panties and matching bra.  “We’ve all seen you naked.”

“What’s hidden is desired more.  It’s part of the mystique Bryce.”

Austin came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and one around his head.

“Towel hog,” I lazily accused him and pretended to reach a hand out to grab the towel around his head.  His hands flew to protect it and I nabbed the one around his waist instead, yanking it off.

“One per customer,” I told him with a laugh.  He flushed but as a matter of pride left the towel on his head and walked naked to the drawers.  I grinned at his sexy naked ass.

Dropping the sheet I put the towel in its place, shivering a bit as its dampness touched my naked body.  Looking at Bryce I took my draped clothes from him.

“Join me in the shower, Bryce,” I purred unable to keep the excitement out of my voice.

I took a step backward and he matched my movement.  Letting my eyes caress his chest and down I whispered, “You’re overdressed.”

Quickly stripping his jeans off his body he followed me naked into the bathroom.  He closed the door behind us and leaned against it watching me.  I tried to keep my eyes from devouring him and gestured to the shower.

“You start,” I told him and watched him hesitated for just a second.  It was as if he didn’t like me giving him orders, directing him.  I remembered his words when he took me last night.  This was a man used to being in charge, at least of his sex life.

But he nodded and got into the tub shower and pulled the curtain closed.  I set my clothes down on the sink, dropped my towel and sat on the toilet to relieve my aching bladder.  Sometimes the mystique was a bitch.

Pulling the curtain aside I joined Bryce in the shower.  He was a breathtaking sight all muscled and lean and wet and I indulged my eyes.  It was so rare a student came to me in such physical perfection.  It was too bad there were four of them and I couldn’t spend as much time enjoying Bryce as I might personally love to.

With my hands on his firm biceps I moved him out from under the water so I could take his place and wet my hair under the spray.  It took a long time to get it thoroughly wet and I knew the sight was torturing Bryce.  This was a show that had become every man’s fantasy thanks to the porn industry.

With my hair finally ready for shampoo I reached behind me for the bottle and peeked at Bryce.  He stood there with hands clenched into fists and a raging erection.  His face was a mask but his eyes burned along my body.  Good, I thought, maybe he’ll be off balance enough to give me some straight answers.

I watched his face as I soaped my hair and said, “Why were you trying to get into the safe, Bryce?”

His eyes had been on my body and at my words they flew to my face.

“What?”

“You left my bed to snoop in the closet.  Why?”  With my hair soaped I began to rinse it which took almost as long as wetting it, and created the same torturous sight for Bryce with the added component of soap sliding along my body.  I heard him take a deep breath.

“Would you believe I wanted to steal one of your panties?” he said after several seconds of hesitation.

I ignored the lie and stayed on point.  “You wanted in the safe because you saw me put my case in there and you’re trying to pull my I.D.  Why are you so determined to find out who I am?”

Reaching for my hair conditioner I generously began applying it.  I had moved out of the water to do so and closer to Bryce.  Conditioning thick hair that fell to your waist was a long process and apparently fascinating to Bryce because he took several breaths before he answered me.

“This class is a guy’s wet dream.”

I heard the truth of the moment in his words.  But beyond that I heard the sincerity in his voice.  I was surprised.  I’d really expected more lies. But the truth was even better than trying to garner the truth from what he didn’t say.

“It feels like there’s a catch.  Like you’re going to ask for payment or video tape us and blackmail us or something,” he went on.

“No,” I said quietly with a smile as I twisted and tied my conditioned hair into a knot at the nape of my neck.

Rinsing my hands I placed them on Bryce’s biceps.  I gently moved him back to the shower spray until he stood just out of the water.  I took the plain unscented soap from the shelf and filled my hands with thick lather.  Then I thoroughly indulged myself in Bryce’s body by running my hands over his shoulders, chest, abs and arms.  I soaped him and caressed him and by the time I was done we were both breathing rapidly.  I pushed him backward into the shower spray to rinse off and tried to rein in my body’s desire by washing my legs and arms.

I was reaching for the soap again when Bryce’s hand beat me to it.  “My turn,” he said with a voice husky with desire.  I could only watch him breathlessly as he lathered my body.  Before he could try and lather my sex I turned my back.  A glance back saw him grinning as he lathered my back and ass.

“Switch,” I said, pleased my voice sounded normal with none of the intense desire I was pounding with.

This time Bryce took my arms and rubbed my body along his as we switched places in the shower.  The action was exquisite torture and peaked my nipples.  I rinsed my body and the conditioner out of my hair and was about to reach for the soap again when I felt Bryce’s hands again on my arms.   He jerked my body to his and pressed me against the wall.

“You… you are the sexiest woman I have ever met,” he said and kissed me hard.

My body ignited.  I was kissing him back before I realized what I was doing.  I splayed by fingers on his wet chest hair and ran another down his back.  For a moment I wasn’t Cat, wasn’t teaching a class.  I was just a woman in a shower kissing this man.

Then my brain began working again.  I don’t have time for this, I thought at myself.  We were all off schedule as it was by sleeping so late.  I started frantically shutting down mental switches of automatic response and pulled away from his kiss.

“Bryce no,” I managed to whisper as he planted kisses and little nips with his teeth along my neck.  The sensation was killing my resolve.

“Its torture being near you and not touch you,” he groaned out then suddenly lifted me up off my feet so my breasts were almost level with his head.  He pinned my lower body with his and I felt my weight being held between the wall and his chest, steadied only by his arms.  His mouth was on my breasts and it was becoming very hard to think as each nibble and draw sent shots of pleasure straight to my sex.

“You need to be washed,” he said casually as if we were not in the middle of raging desire.  I saw him swipe his hand over the soap and disappear.  I could only assume he was lathering up that special something I had been admiring earlier.

I gave up the fight when he slid me down the shower wall onto his cock.  I shuddered in his arms as the feel of him filling me sent mini-orgasms through my sex.  Gripping his waist with my legs I could only cling to his broad wet shoulders and throw my head back as he began to thrust short and fast.

My orgasm was rising quickly as the pleasure of his action built and built.  I was barely conscious of the whimpering noises I was making so it took a moment or two to register Bryce was talking to me.

“I said look at me, Cat,” he ordered.  I opened my eyes to his and saw his intensity and something else just as his mouth came down on mine and the taste of his tongue sent me over the edge.  His lips still claimed mine as he growled in my mouth and ground his huge cock inside me while he came.  The action sent me over the edge again and I could only whimper and shudder in his arms.

He pulled his lips from mine only because of the sheer need for air and we stood there for several minutes panting.  I stared at this man, shocked at my loss of control.  Then he leaned his forehead against me.  That surprisingly tender action went straight to my heart and I mentally struggled against the emotion filling me.

“Can you stand?” he asked me quietly when we both seemed to catch our breaths.

“No, but I’ll manage.”  I was surprised by how shaky my voice sounded to my ears.

Bryce pulled himself out of me and I tried to stifle the groan of pleasure the action caused but failed.  He chuckled, so pleased he could cause me pleasure with even that motion.  Once I had my feet firmly planted I took down the removable showerhead to rinse myself thoroughly.  The entire time I ignored Bryce as I tried to gain some control over my emotions.  I stepped quickly out of the shower when I was soap free.

I almost never showered with a student but I hadn’t trusted Bryce and wanted to see what information I could get out of him.  Instead he’d taken complete control of the situation.  I was toweling myself off furiously when Bryce shut off the water and pulled the curtain aside.

“You’re angry,” he stated.

A thousand answers ran through my mind and every single one of them sounded like a peeved girlfriend.  It stopped me cold when I realized that.  Stepping closer to the sink I dragged the towel over the steamed mirror to look at myself.  There was the problem staring right at me.  Bryce brought out the Sarah in me.  I needed to get Cat back and keep her firmly between this man and me.

Bryce was toweling himself off while still in the tub.  Every now and again he’d glance at me.   Shrugging my silly emotions aside, I put my hair up in my towel and reached for my clothes.  I watched Bryce’s body without looking at his face while I dressed.  Distancing the one from the other I wrapped myself up in Cat’s appreciation of the male form.

By the time I had my jeans on and was slipping my shirt over my toweled head I was smiling Cat’s seductive smile.  Bryce wrapped his towel around his waist and stepped out of the tub.  I’d slipped my shoes on and applied my makeup.  Studiously I ignored the Bryce reflection frowning behind me.  I could sense he had things he wanted to say.  But he didn’t, which I was extremely thankful for.

“Go eat,” I said taking the towel off my hair and running my brush through it.  I had to keep the upper hand with him so when he hesitated I turned to him, smiled slyly and ordered, “Go on.”

He left the bathroom and I took out the blow dryer to get most of the moisture out of my hair.  I didn’t have time to completely dry and style it but since the long hair was part of Cat’s disguise I couldn’t go out of the bathroom with it up in a towel.  My stomach growled and I was so irked at being behind schedule I almost growled back at it.

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Garage Sale

So I FINALLY got the word from the Ex that he WASN’T going to come get all the crap he left in the house.  Which meant I could have my much awaited garage sale.  Yay!  and Ugh!

Events like this tend to set off my “must do it perfectly or it won’t be successful” compulsion.  But the procrastinator in me helps balance that out!  So it came down the wire.  And I was “planning” on doing all these things to prep for the garage sale but kept putting of actually DOING any of them.  lol

But I managed and learned that it went just fine without all the perfection.  It actually went better!  I’m either getting lazy or just less OCD, I cant tell which.

I never got around to “pricing” many of the items.  Hell, I barely got notices in the Pennysaver and Craigslist before the event!  It was so windy I lost half the signs I put up, which was why I didn’t put them up until Saturday Morning missing the Friday home from work crowd.  And Sex God, who was supposed to help,  got called into work Saturday morning.

But…

Not having it priced made it much easier to sell items.  If they were interested they’d ask how much.  Since my goal was to get rid of this stuff I priced almost all of it at $1, with a few items at $2 or $5 and the big furniture at Craigslist pricing.

Most of the sales occurred Saturday AM with the professional garage sale people cleaning me out of the resellable online items.  But I did manage to sell a few big ticket items and make a few bob.  And Sex God’s trip into work took less time than imagined so I got to enjoy the weekend with him.

AND he brought over his Playstation 3.

 

Impossi-puzzle

Luke has been dropping hints he wants one cuz “all the critically acclaimed games are for Playstation and NOT the Wii” (which is his reasoning) so he was in heaven!  Then my Sex God impressed Evan by assembling from pieces what Evan calls the Impossipuzzle.  I honestly didn’t think he’s be able to do it  cuz I tried it once (and I’m fairly good at puzzles) and I’d failed, so I’d bet him $5 he couldn’t!

Conor came back from camping with his father on Sunday   ’round 11am at which point I set the boys into cleaning my house while Sex God and I sat under the shade umbrella on the outdoor bench with our laptops waiting for customers.  And after the incredible sex the night before (Sex God delivers it soooo nicely) I was rather ambivalent about any Sunday sales, although there were a few.

But it didn’t matter.  I spent that afternoon putting the big items on Craigslist and sold 3 in 24 hours.  And at the end of Sunday we loaded all the rest of the stuff down to Goodwill.

Crocked BBQ Pork Ribs greeted us for dinner with Ice Cream from the Ice Cream truck for desert.  Conor wanted Mac N Cheese so I made it for a side dish and fed them raw carrots & snow peas for veggies.  Easy-Peasy-Dinner.

And even though I made him do most of the heavy work & made him sit next to me during the boring slow times of the garage sale & he sat through the first 20 minutes of 4 dull movies until we found one he liked, when it was time for lights out Sex God gave me a wonderful compliment.

*sigh*  “Wish every day was the weekend.”

🙂  Those are the same words my kids say to me.  I must be doing SOMETHING right!


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The Wax

OK…  I did it.  I splurged (and I’m REALLY not sure if that word can apply to THIS situation!) and got a Brazilian waxing job.  Yes, people, I paid someone to pour hot wax on my “hoo hoo” and RIP the hair off.  It falls into that category of paying a dentist hundreds of dollars to torment you for a root canal.  At some point your lizard brain is saying… “WHY??!!”

I’d read up and came prepared.  Which consisted of “braced for the pain” and untrimmed for 3 weeks.  Now I’d self waxed my face  and once tried to wax my leg hairs so I knew the type of pain to expect.   ….Although age & 3 kids have managed to knock out most of my leg hairs.  How, you ask?  I don’t know.  All I know is when I first got pregnant in the last months, I developed a slight rash on my calves and lower thighs.  Hair stopped growing wherever the rash was.  It wasn’t a BIG rash.. just bumpy skin, no itching or scaling.. just little bumps.  The rash stayed throughout my breastfeeding, straight into the next pregnancy and so on for the 6 years I was either pregnant or nursing a baby.  When I weaned my last son, the bumps went away and the leg hair never grew again.   I still have very sparse hairs that grow near my knee and along my shin, but they’re no where near as dark as the horror they were when I first hit puberty!  (Which explained why in when I was first dealing with this trauma in puberty my mother always counseled me to naturally bleach my leg hairs in the sun with lemon juice instead of  shaving… cuz she’d had 3 kids and barely had leg hair!.. Hippy!)

But I digress.   (A LOT! Sheesh)

The waxing place was very nice.  Indian, so there was Bollywood clips on the t.v. and twangy twangy music playing.  It was amazingly clean.

They led me to a little room in the back, perfect for massage or waxing.  I changed into the cover they provided and got onto the table.   She came in and we discussed what I wanted done.  A full Brazillian gets ALL the hair from your “special place” including the “back” area.   Its different from a bikini waxing which is just all those “extra” hair that show if your wearing bikini bottoms, around your legs, etc.

I explained I wanted a Brazilian but with, what the men call, a “landing strip”.  Because while I don’t want pubic hair, I also don’t want to look like a 12-year old!  I think next time I might go for a little arrow.  (I’m tempted to do a question mark but I think that’s beyond her talents!)

She trims my hairs down to some level she’s satisfied with and then asks me if I’m ready.  Sure, answers the ignorant woman.  So she spreads a bit of hot wax, not warm, hot!  But it felt surprisingly good.  My mind immediately distracts itself with the thought on how this sensation puts a whole new light on all those porn I watched where they dripped hot candle wax on…  YEOW!!  (as she rips.)

And Yikes and OHMYGOD!!  As she rips two more times in the same area.  And so it went, over and over again for about 15 or 20 minutes.  She’d apply wax to an area and rip it 3 times, then powder it while I relearned how to breath!  Some areas hurt more than others.  Obviously.  The worst being the inner labia.  (I shudder at the memory cuz that is just  NOT designed to be taught enough for hair pulling!)  And its not that first rip that hurts the worst.. its the consecutive two that kill ya.  Your body screams that initial protest and you expect the pain to fade, but then two  more just seem to escalate it to a level where you’re trying NOT to crawl backwards as fast as possible.

With every application I’m asking myself if this is REALLY better than shaving?  Is it worth the time, pain and money?  WILL I actually do this AGAIN?  If I liked pain I’d have my tattoo by now!  I’m compartmentalizing, compromising, negotiating with myself.  Suggesting that I might be able to try this at home.  After all I do have the waxing kit and willing men to help should I desire it.  That might eliminate the costs.  And I chastise myself for being a wus, after all they explained that often it gets easier and easier every time because less hair grows back each time.  Only time will tell on THAT score.

Oh, but the worse wasn’t over.  After she felt she’d done all she could with the wax and I was holding back as firmly as I could the desire to holler, “Good enough!”  She told me she wanted to thread the last few hairs the wax missed.   She explained the process, she would use a fine thread to hook those errant hairs and pull them out.  No, I don’t know exactly “how” this works, my eyes were tearing too much and I was flat on my back so I really couldn’t SEE anything!

But after 5 minutes of THAT my compulsive completer/good patient was beaten into submission by my lizard brain and I told her that I was satisfied and done.  She washed and powdered the area and I got dressed.

My crotch looked like I had 3rd degree burns but it was smooth! lol.

Ok.. so the downside.  TP stuck to me for days!  No matter how much you wash that area it just feels like there is STILL a microscopic coating of wax.  And my body reacted JUST like razor burn for almost 5 days!  So for the first week I swore this was NOT better than shaving because I still had all the down side of shaving!

Then I hit the upside.  It lasts oh soooo much longer than shaving.  Its been almost 4 weeks and it still looks very good and feels wonderful.  A few of the hairs didn’t get “plucked” by the waxing as much as broken off, so those grew back rather quickly, but they are few and far between and I’m tempted to pluck them myself.

The jury is still out on whether this will be something I do regularly.  But it was definitely worth the experience!

I wonder if it would hurt less if I was self-medicated…..

Posted in Naughty Stuff | Comments Off on The Wax

Grownups

A quick post because all 7 of the other drafts aren’t ready!  And life is, as always, crazy busy.  Just wait until I start writing again! I won’t have time for ANY new posting!

Anyway.. I had Easter dinner with my mom over at my brother’s house.   I got to see their newly remodeled bathroom which looks gorgeous!  And got to envy a little bit the way their furniture looks so nice and matched and works so well with the paint on the walls!  My jealously is tempered with the knowledge that my brother’s wife when to design school so she’s got WAY more of a knack to do this than I do.  Plus when I moved into MY house I got it after it was remodeled.  My sister-in-law has waited almost a decade to get her BATHROOM done… don’t even mention the work “kitchen” to her!

We were joined by a couple from their church, which was both unexpected and expected.  My brother & his wife are very social and their church is very big on staying tightly connected.. which is only ONE of the reasons its often referred to as a Christian cult!  Rarely have I got to dinner at their house and NOT have someone from their church join the family event.

Anyway.. this couple was very nice.  Around my brother’s age (making them younger than I).  They’d known them & my sister for almost 15 years & met my Dad(whose personality I take after).   My natural wariness to anybody from my brother’s church (I dislike “God is Everything” kind of people) wars with my desire to met a new audience who hasn’t met “Heather” and heard my stories.  New people are potential “Wow you are sooo cool!” candidates that feed my needy ego.  Which is always fun for me.

They laughed at my comments and stories and had great stories of their own.   And I managed NOT to monopolize the conversation or turn everything about me.. (proud of myself there)   But…  and there is always a but, isn’t there.   But in one story my mother makes a comment about how she learned from THAT trip to never take a recalcitrant teenager on a trip (she’s talking about when we took a trip to Europe).

re·cal·ci·trant/riˈkalsətrənt/

Adjective: Having an obstinately uncooperative attitude toward authority.

Noun: A person with such an attitude.

To which I exclaim,  “I was in my 20’s!”

Which is supposed to be funny and prove her wrong.  But the husband of this new couple begins to jokingly argue that I certainly SOUNDED like a teenager.  Kind of a “if the immaturity fits..” comment or two or three.

And I found myself bristling.   I dropped the subject and the conversation naturally flowed into something else and I joined it here and there as if nothing was wrong.  But it was at that point that I no longer liked the couple.  No.. I take that back.  I no longer trusted them.  I know a barb when I feel one.

But I’m also an incredibly self absorbed personality.  So I’m  looking at my actions wondering if I brought that on myself in any way.  WAS I really THAT immature at that age?  No, not really.  Was I and have I always been and will I always be opinionated?  Oh yes.   Is it immaturity to stand up for what you dislike or like about food?  (which is what I was complaining about.)   Is it fair to label a person immature just because they DON’T enjoy traveling to new countries as much as you do?  When you use her to carry 5 bags and she’s both your employee and assistant as well as your daughter?  Don’t even get me started on how different the European trips with my brother and sister were when she took them.

All that popping in and out in my head as the conversation moved on through different subjects.  I participated but I realized it was at half mast.  And that wasn’t just me reacting to the barb.. it was the company of the room.   I cannot talk about sex or dating or men at this table.  I cannot curse to embellish nor shock with truth as I usually enjoy doing in a new conversation.  As there are kids at this table and my mother and these are all “good church goers”.  Gack.

By the end of the evening I was left with two impressions.

One.. grown ups are boring.  BORING!  Wrapped up in their “I make the right decisions and you do not because you aren’t as grown up as me” assurance they seem like they’ve boxed themselves into their comfortable life.   And from that great height they look down on those of us exploring new things and trying the unusual.

I look at the interesting things I’ve done and experienced and how I’ve grown with it and I wonder if maybe that’s why I don’t want to become one of them.  Wait.. not grown with it…. expanded.  I’ve expanded myself with new experiences.  They act like the only growing they can do is to grow closer to God because they’re all finished in all the other areas.  Cuz they’re Grown Ups!

The other thing I learned?   heh heh heh.  My nephew got a dose of my sense of humor in the genes he inherited from my brother.  Quirky, comedic statements, good delivery and half the time no one gets his humor. He’s young (almost 17) and too good a Christian to be comfortable with my level of humor so I won’t expose him to it.  But now I know who I plan on sitting next to at ALL family dinners in the future.

Odd humor is NEVER boring!

Posted in Ah the Joy of !*&? Family | Comments Off on Grownups

Reality Bites

Its been several days and I’m STILL trying to accept get back to Reality after Coachella.  That’s probably a sure sign that a vacation wasn’t long enough, but I can do nothing about that.  I can just go on.. into reality.

Well, Reality kinda sucks!

I’ve managed to create a life of PURE multi-tasking.  Its almost like I cannot do just ONE thing… I have to do several.  I have to have several projects going  on, all in various different stages… as if once it’s ALL completed my “job”/”life” will be DONE and death will feel free to take me.

This is half due to my personality (I’ve ALWAYS done at least 2 things at once… since I was a child!)  and half due to having 3 kids.  Every birth a woman grows brain neurons in the area of multi-tasking.. cuz you gotta!  Juggling multiple kids isn’t really hard, nor exhausting (its not like I’m actually, physically JUGGLING them!!) but it IS mentally challenging. You have to constantly be aware of them, switch gears from one age group to another and balance your orders/reminders/screams with your need to let them be more independent/grow/learn to do it themselves.

Okay… so it is a little exhausting!

And it seems crazy to ADD this type of style to ALL of the aspects of your life.  Juggling the care of finances, job, filing, housework, socialization, blogging, dating and every other little niggling “to do” part of your life.  But that’s what most of us have done and I’m one of the worst!!

Okay.. not really.. just sometimes it FEELS like I’ve become really BAD at Reality.

Coachella was so wonderful it didn’t really help much with this Bad Reality, either!  My kids were ecstatic to see me, even though they had fun at Grandma’s cuz she took them out to breakfast both days.  But they tend to really miss Mom.  Not just cuz with me they have the house they are used to and my cooking and space to move.   Luke revealed they miss the fact I show them love.  Which their very Asperger’s “humans are confusing” Dad has a lot of difficulty with.

But that Monday was hectic and crazy.  I had to try and get my taxes done, help with homework and take Luke to his shrink apt.  And the taxes were NOT cooperating!  I was stressed and freaking and finally just finished it in a rush of “cross your fingers”.  Add to that I couldn’t FIND the mailing address AND just then my printer began to hiccup problems PLUS the kids are “we’re hungry!”  By the time I rushed them all out the door at 7pm to find a post office I was a bundle of adrenaline/stress hormones!

Ah but fickle fate isn’t done with her Bitch.. nooooo!  In the rush down the street of our canyon home a deer tries to commit suicide-by-car.  Yup!  Ran RIGHT across the road  in front of my car.  GOD those are dumb animals!  Squirrels have more sense!

I saw it coming and tried to factor in that it should stop…  might serve… Holly Shit It’s going to cross right in front of us!

The boys were all… “What is THAT!”  “Oh No!”  “What is a DEER doing here!”  etc. in the back & front seats.    Lovely Fate giving me something NEW to deal with, spice up my life… yeah.. thanks.   Then I hear this in the back seat.

Conor: That Deer’s lucky he’s not a squirrel.

Evan: Yeah.. then she would have gunned it.

Luke: Mom, would you really have tried to hit the deer?

Me: Of course not….   that would damage the car too much!  Did you see the size of that thing!

Gotta keep the humor up when you’re Fickle Fate’s Bitch!


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Fickle Fate’s Bitch

Life has been insane, lately.  Up and down in such unusual ways I’ve been feeling VERY much like Fate is taking waaaaayyy too much interest in my life. Last year I was buoyant on my new life and relished Fate’s interest.  I rolled with everything because the horizon looked soooo appetizing, how could anything Fate brings me NOT be in my best interests?!

Amusingly, I know I feel a bit differently now.  I sense it.  Like a storm you see on the horizon.  No, no.. that’s the typical way of describing this.  But what it REALLY feels like is sensing something… something BIG… is coming up behind you while driving.  You get a little uneasy for no conscious reason.

So I’ve been looking at my relationship with Sex God, my job, my dating, my writing, my parenting… basically I’ve been looking at my whole life, holding it up to the light and comparing it to the past and the possibilities in the future. (I tend to do this a lot.  I blame my Aries attention span & my narcissist need adoration.)

And I’ve been coming up with “Eh.”

I laugh because that’s exactly where I am right now.  I’m in between.  Half in limbo and half moving forward and it sometimes puts me in this half frustrated/ half tolerant mood.  Basically, a shrug and a sigh..   an ” Eh.”

And of course you know what they say about how you “Bring your Karma” to you?  Well, apparently I’ve been experiencing it.  Lets start with last Thursday.

It’s the day before I leave for Coachella.  I’ve given myself 50 things to do cuz I’m both a compulsive completer AND a selfish procrastinator, leaving TONS I want to do before I go off.   Taxes being the first thing.. after the shower and breakfast and laundry and packing and checking the list of things I need for Coachella.

So I FINALLY get BACK online with H&R Block to do my taxes… (I got stalled when the State portion told me I had to file Standard or Itemized Deductions the SAME as my ex since we’re technically Married and Filing Separately and I  had to stop and ask him and wait for his reply, etc. etc.) …and I complete the process ONLY to have them tell me I CANNOT file online due to the fact I’m filing Married/Separate and they want $80 now.

Frustrated I look at the time and realize, “Crap I’d better get on the road to pick up my Dad!”   He was coming in from a 10 day cruise.  I didn’t go into work cuz I knew he was coming in but not WHEN.  He called me at 8:30 and told me they should be off the boat at 11:00.  So I left by 10:15 which should have given me enough time to get there by 11:00.

Then Fate steps in again.  I don’t get good cell reception at home.  When my Dad first called I realized it was him and called his number from my land line, telling him this.  He forgot.  So when I got into range again I had 3 messages from him telling me they got off the boat early.

Cursing I try to make up time on the freeways only to hit traffic which is COMPLETELY unusual at this hour.  I get a hold of my Dad and explain the crazy circumstances and he lays on hesitations.  “Maybe we should just take a cab.”

This totally pushes my buttons.  “Sorting” time is just as important to me as sorting anything and when I “fail” I tend to get very, well, irritated is the least of it.  So I’m plexing because I’m late, which is made worse with the traffic.  I’m doing my best to talk myself into Zen mode and finally arrive.  So worried I made them wait.  But what I’m really mentally doing is composing my Facebook posting about how I realize every family needs a Fuck Up and I should apply for the position.  After all I seem to be eminently qualified!!

When I finally get to San Pedro Harbor I almost laugh.  11:00 on the dot.

Driving back my Dad reminds me I have until Monday to file my taxes.  Good news!  A reprieve!  I’ll whip out the 1040 on Monday!  Reassuring myself that not ALL my recent decisions turn out disastrously.

Once home I check my emails.  Because my instincts are feeling twitching.   I’ve got that nagging voice in my head saying… you’re going to regret it if you don’t!   And I stand there, staring at the screen, giggling.  I’d won another contest from my radio station.

For free passes to Coachella!  Hahahaha!

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Julie & Julia

Free movie marathon for 4 days on my cable this last weekend and I just picked ANYTHING that looked remotely interesting.  In the course of that I watched Julie & Julia, the movie about the writer who wrote a blog about cooking from Julia Child’s cookbook.  The scenes with Meryl Streep as Julia Childs are brilliant.  And the other story line is very interesting also.

But hit a bit close to home at one point.  She moans that no one is reading her blog but her mother.  Then suddenly she has lots of readers, many who comment and some who send her gifts!  Then months later the New York Times does a story on her from her blog and BAMM, she has 64 messages from agents calling and publishers interested in having her do a book.

And I burst into tears.

Because its every writer’s dream to be valued like that.  To have people WANT to validate your talent and work.  And turns out, its incredibly difficult to obtain.   An agent has to work just as hard as the writer to try and get a book published.  And an editor has to fight within their own COMPANY to get the book they’ve contracted the best sales deal and marketing they can.

Because everyone’s career hangs in the numbers.  The first 3 months and end of year sales numbers.  Even if the book is a masterpiece, it may not have the numbers to make ANYONE want to invest in that author/agent/editor again.  So in an incredibly strange sense.. it’s like playing the lottery!

And sadly…. I’m a cost accountant’s daughter.

I’ve weighed the amount of effort and time it would take to “get” something I might write published.  I briefly looked into what it might take to self-publish.  And as a divorced, mother of three, I can easily realize I don’t have the time nor the money to do it.

Oh, perhaps if I give up on many other things and lock myself away, immerse myself in the book.  Maybe, I’ll produce something worthy of amateur self publication.  If I don’t go crazy by the end of it.

And that’s the very reason I don’t.  It’s all a maybe.  While if I set aside the dream of writing, I KNOW I’ll have the fun of spending time with Sex God.  Being a good Mom.  Working to keep the business I run floating smoothly.

Still…  there are moments I look back on the “maybe” dream and wonder.   And like a child wishing Santa was real, I wish I had agents and editors WANTING me too.

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